I paid for the chopper fuel, Kibuule tells MPs

Obua: So what didn’t go wrong?
Okwir: What didn’t go wrong?
Mbogo: Ivan Ssemwang died, if that is what you wanted to ask.
Otafiire: Which constituency was he representing? Eh, this Parliament is so big one has to walk with a teleprompter for reading out names of members.
Rugunda: Someone help Otafiire to help himself.
Karooro: And my deepest prayer is that Bahati is in kamoli now.
Nsereko: Otafiire, just go and do your favourite thing.
Bahati: If I diagnose his ailment, he latches at the doctor. But for once, I am okay with Otafiire just sleeping away.
Ssemujju: Otafiire’s deliberate mistake is telling. The House is too large for any good.
Anite: How about you start by quitting?
Okupa: How would his quitting help the matter knowing EC will just carry out a by-election and a new fellow will just keep the number as is?
Anite: Well, he would have left.
Nanyondo: Anite’s one-minus-one theory is good. I like it.
Wamukuyu: Obua was asking something, right?
Nankabirwa: Who wants to answer a vague question?
Gafabusa: @Obua, please come again.
Obua: SIM cards were switched off, then back on and whatnot. We can’t do anything good in this country.
Olanya: I imagined that deadline was okay. People would eventually register. Telecoms that would lose subscribers had warmed up. Why did the president have to come in?
Fungaroo: That is obvious, he wanted to humiliate his minister.
Ssekikubo: What?
Munyagwa: I concur. This Tumwebaze guy was trying to make himself the decision maker. He was usurping powers of the chief decision maker.
Tumwebaze: What is this about?
Ecweru: Hmmm!
Okupa: Poor thing, he had to apologise.
Otafiire: We have a saying that a frog doesn’t turn into a pet just because it wandered into a home wearing a broad smile.
Nsereko: Hapana! There is no such saying.
Karooro: Hahaha, I like the saying.
Ssemujju: I always knew you were very brilliant.
Lubwama: @Otafiire, what does that mean?
Maganda: That was brilliant from the general.
Franca: I can imagine the frog all suited up and behaving like he had arrived.
Kadaga: Well, Tumwebaze, it goes without saying that next time you should walk with a mirror.
Komakech: This forum is very wacky when Otafiire is feisty like now.
Lubwama: Someone, what is the frog thing about?
Rugunda: Eish! Resident ATM, do you only understand money talk?
Kibalya: I don’t see how Tumwebaze will recover from that stitching stuff.
Mafabi: @Lubwama, what it means is that a certain minister was playing hard balls by making decrees and defying even Parliament, forgetting that there is always one decision maker in this country.
Lokodo: But I make decisions.
Lufafa: Decisions of arresting a mere VJ Junior?
Kiiza: There is a disease here. Kibuule. I don’t have words to say more.
Gonahasa: The minister flew in a police chopper to visit his in-laws. Very interesting times we live in.
Angiro: Reminds me of someone’s speech in the 1980s that castigated African leaders who fly to the UN headquarters in New York in private jets when their citizens are starving.
Sizomu: That someone now flies jets from Kampala to go and visit Kadaga in Kamuli.
Galiwango: I see you guys won’t go to bed tonight.
Kibuule: I don’t know what is wrong with that. I paid for the jet fuel.
Mateke: Your wrongs are spotted by others. The people decide whether your actions are wrong or not.
Lufafa: @Lokodo, if you are indeed the Ethics minister, tell us what you think of this Kibuule chopper joyride.
Lokodo: It wasn’t a joyride to begin with. Besides, I need to know the whole story first. Right now I am hearing allegations.

DISCLAIMER

This is a humour column and the views expressed henceforth may not necessarily be an objective assessment of the individual or group.