Questions that Kale’s arrest will never answer

What you need to know:

  • Even Gen KK must be wondering when No.1 is really going to call time on his welcome. Like how many more before Museveni himself says “ah, my hat, my walking stick.

I wanted to imagine Gen Kale Kayihura as Nicholas Salmanovitch Rubashov, to imagine him battling with serious toothache inside his nestle at Makindye Military Barracks, but doing so would bore and intrigue many who have never chanced on reading the eternally relevant political bible titled Darkness At Noon. The author, Arthur Koestler, apparently exhausted his mental faculties writing this book and committed suicide, leaving behind many questions.

Yes, questions for those who have not read this book who would have been wondering—if I had expounded on it further—what Arlova’s submissiveness and sacrifice means to Kayihura, what Richard’s stammer is all about and why Little Loewy committed suicide after killing one too many cats for a living.

Kayihura must have ignored the cardinal political rule that says that only No.1 and the party are above reproach and now he has to listen to the Bogrovs whimper as they are dragged down the dim-lit corridors to their execution.
But this page has realised that, while his arrest should have answered questions like whether the bunch of newts that turned up with placards protesting his summonses by court not long ago can continue showing the same spirit toward their General, it has actually left more questions unanswered.

Like who killed Capt Alex. Just go on the street and discuss Gen KK. He seems to be at fault for so many crimes in the minds of the folks that if the regime included charges related to the killing of Capt Alex and slapped it on KK, there would be few qualms. But seeing as the arrest, prosecution (if it happens) and whatever else is just another script in the political hymns, don’t be surprised if he is found guilty later and only reprimanded. And then we shall continue to ask, who killed Capt Alex?

Elsewhere, the common folks would like to have answers on basic utilities. Like how will the arrest of this weevil explain why Bank of Uganda still prints and circulates Shs50 coins yet there is nothing worth Shs50 on the market anymore? Economists can understand these things but since even beggars no longer accept Shs50, why isn’t it scrapped yet?
Similarly, like really, how did Weevil’s airlifting from Lyantonde impact on the stock exchange? Just so the woman vending tomatoes in Nakasero Market can understand, how do KK’s current predicaments affect the price of mukene downtown? Things that cause more confusion like No.1 yapping about electronic number plates and fingerprints for guns should not make more news than the state of the cancer machine at Uganda Cancer Institute in Mulago.

So we are told there will be drones deployed to chase after criminals but we are not told that these drones are machines manned by humans? If the humans will be able to effectively pilot drones after criminals, why aren’t they able to do so now? Is that just because we haven’t yet started fingerprinting guns?

How will Gen KK’s arrest explain to Ugandans who really write’s our old man’s speeches? Why write technical stuff like fingerprints for guns and drones when he should be asking or explaining why and if guns in the hands of criminals are really not registered?
Meanwhile, even Gen KK must be wondering when No.1 is really going to call time on his welcome. Like how many more before Museveni himself says “ah, my hat, my walking stick. Son, hold one hand and lead me home to rest”?

So the people are busy spoiling themselves on KK’s constitutional right to be produced in court within 48 hours like the normal Ugandan he has become and forgetting to seek the answer to the mother question?
Anyway, there are 40 million empty tins in this republic, that is why the old man can address the nation on security situation without speaking about the recent murder of MP Ibrahim Abiriga and none of the representatives of the empty tins whose colleague was gunned down asks why.