A man who beats his wife isn’t man enough

You recently had a gender identity week at Makerere University. What was it about?
Gender identity week started last year to purposely spare some time in every year to look at gender-related issues in the country because both men and women are affected by their identities at their places of work, in society and their future, and that can affect their individual development hence affecting national development. That’s why we came up with this week; to discuss issues affecting both men and women.

Looking at Uganda’s current environment, are women really empowered?
If you compare today’s situation and that of the past, you really see the difference. For instance, how many women would you find teaching in universities or doing great businesses and investments? However, we are not yet there because they could be empowered economically yet they don’t make decisions on the money that they make.
We are not satisfied with current number of empowered women because we want many of them like in rural areas to be empowered, for instance, when it comes to having powers over property.

What gaps do you think haven’t been plugged as far as empowerment of women in Uganda is concerned?
The loopholes are everywhere because when you look at patriarch, we all live in patriarchal system. When you look at men in the past, they didn’t want women to make decisions. Although there are a few men who have embraced woman emancipation, there are those who have deliberately refused to change.
When you look at education, there are many girls who have dropped from school because they lack fees or are being married off. At workplaces, women face sexual harassment and this hinders their career development. I was conducting a research and one lady told me how she lost her job because of being sexually harassed. These are the problems which need urgent solution for women to enjoy the same rights with men.

How would you rate women’s representation when it comes making laws?
Of course there is no gender parity at all in our politics because women have no money. For instance, our current Parliament has 34 per cent of women and of course this is far below the 66 percent of men. Countries such as Rwanda have a big percentage of women representation in parliament, hence they are progressing because women are part of policy formulation. To wrap up, women in Uganda haven’t been empowered because some of them are shy to join politics.

Some men claim that women emancipation is to blame for domestic violence because women now feel that they are empowered to do anything
I would like to listen to both the man and woman before making a judgment. But what we have been able to hear is that women are becoming unmanageable. But why should you manage a woman in the first place? Why can’t you sit as a couple and solve it amicably instead of pulling ropes?
However, it all comes to men because some of them have abandoned their responsibilities hence some women might do this out of anger. To mitigate this situation, it’s advisable for the couple to sit and handle issues without being violent. For us when we are teaching, we don’t emphasize breaking up but staying in harmony.

The rate at which marriages are breaking is alarming. What do you think is the cause?
Money. Everyone is interested in money and we have all become materialistic. When you look at today’s weddings, people splash millions of money but when it’s done, trouble erupts probably because of debts or the changing lifestyle.
The young people are heavily investing in weddings yet they don’t have any money to sustain them. Now some girls who aren’t patient will definitely start changing because you showed them money at first.
But if you do things within your means, you grow slowly and become financially empowered. Therefore, the issue of money is partly to blame for the current high rate of marriage breakdown.
I think the most important thing here is planning with your spouse before you embark on a journey of marriage. Study your fiancé thoroughly and be honest to them because if you don’t, misunderstandings will definitely arise when they later realise that you gave lied to them.

Some men claim that although they are mistreated by their wives, gender activists whitewash them and go on to blame men
Men are to blame because whenever there is a mistake, they start running everywhere telling everyone about their misunderstandings instead of reporting those cases.
I think there is also need to empower men and give them necessary steps to do just in case they are mistreated by their wives. When you look at statistics, you see that women are the most affected. It’s true some men are there but their only weakness is that they don’t want to report such cases.

Kabonesa’s take on Key issues

What’s your take on the recent spate of women murders in the country?
I am shocked by these deaths because there is no case that has been successfully investigated. It’s so painful that there are no answers to the many questions on why women are being killed like flies.
In fact those of us who have children, are scared because you don’t know who could be the next target. We now need answers from government and let them at least release a report on any of the murders.

But why do you think such murders are common today?
Crime has generally increased in Uganda and that’s the cause because during news bulletin on television, you see harrowing tales where some people have been cut by either their relative, son or husband. The other thing is drug abuse hence some people no longer have the conscience hence they end up doing horrible things.

Last week Uganda joined the rest of the world to celebrate Women’s Day. Looking at the current situation Ugandan women are living in, do you find it worth celebrating?
I think we have achieved something because when you compare women in the past and those of today, you would really appreciate that we have come from far. However, the continued murder of women makes us worried of whether we shall be able to see the next day. But for the small things we have achieved, I think they are worth celebrating.

What’s your take on President Museveni’s recent remarks on men who batter their wives?
I think the President is right because the Bible says that a wife has to be loved and respected. If you are beating your wife, it means that you aren’t man enough. The most important thing here is mutual consent and respect for each other. Couples who respect each other have become successful in their marriages.