Nothing can separate Ugandans from social media; not hell, not tax

Much has been said about the social media tax, most of it unfit for polite conversation, which just goes to show how strongly we all feel about it.

Perhaps if we are perfectly honest, we would concede that it isn’t the money getting our goat; it is the sheer injustice behind it, the helplessness you feel when violated by someone or something more powerful than you. It doesn’t help that the name of the tax sounds like the title of a b-rated porn movie.

That being said, I have used the opportunity to evolve into an honest citizen – the kind that pays their taxes every day.

I moved some things around my busy morning schedule, and pencilled OTT in between kicking off the covers and drawing the curtains. It is exhilarating, truly, to see the immediate effect of paying taxes: I make the teeny payment, and just like magic, services are delivered. Now, if only I could say the same of every other tax I pay.

In these last weeks of upheaval, I have found that there are at least two types of Ugandans: the ones that gleefully shell out a month’s worth of OTT tax, and the kind that glumly use VPN to circumvent the system. Strangely enough, there is no joy to be found in guerrilla warfare.

The people who have vowed to dig deep and remain in the resistance trenches of the tax dispute remain mad as hell that OTT even exists.

You would have thought that the ability to evade the silly tax, possibly indefinitely, would bring about some sort of pleasure, a bouncy giddiness that accompanies the actions of a truant teenager giving the middle finger to the authorities.

But you would be wrong, because instead, the indignity of resorting to stealing back what is yours just seems to take the juice out of the berry. Most of the VPN crowd remains sour and gruff; this fight is not over by a long shot.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room is the shrug-it-off, it-ain’t-that-bad, and-anyway-what-can-we-do, bunch.

Forget paying daily, this group is taking the monthly dosage of the OTT medicine without grimacing. What is a miserable Shs6,000 compared to every other concern piling up? Everything costs more these days, and anyway – shrug – what can we do?

You would imagine that these are dyed in the wool, yellow stalwarts, because it is tempting to dismiss them as pro-government turncoats – I mean, who in their right mind isn’t seething with rage at OTT?

Have they developed a world-weary stoicism in the face of insurmountable odds? Is it possible that paying the tax is merely an act of cheeky defiance? As the dialogue runs unchecked between both sides, one thing remains clear: nothing can separate Ugandans from their beloved social media; not hell, not high water and certainly not tax.

Ever resourceful, the people will find a way to indulge in the national pastime of frittering away those pesky hours in between sunrise and sunrise. Shouldn’t work hours be fewer in poor countries that stay poor? Yes! Realistically speaking, placing limitations on social media use will not teleport Uganda into middle-income status any time sooner.

We do, however, need to exchange unlimited jokes, memes, gossip, porn, prayers and Ayurvedic recipes for a long life – like the one about eating the seeds of an unripe papaya and drinking a glass of warm water with three drops of balsamic vinegar every morning.

Health care is expensive! Share this with as many people as you can and save lives!

Ms Barenzi is a communications professional and writer
[email protected]