Sex for marks or jobs: There are no saints

That women have largely been at the rough end of many cultural norms is a fact not lost on anyone. From societies that have denied them petty things such as eating grasshoppers and depriving them of the chance to drive even when they could afford to buy cars, women suppression is widespread.

Thankfully things have changed a bit over the years. At least in some places women have headed nations, and can publicly enjoy an omelette in societies where this was considered a taboo.
Unfortunately, along the way efforts that were born out of good intentions to stem the marginalisation of women, have to a degree eroded any manner of responsibility by women faced with evils that are sexual in nature. And this has been mainly propagated by the victim-narrative that has been deeply entrenched by most women empowerment movements.

A case in point are the sex-for-marks stories that have been trending lately, triggered by the latest exposé of the vice at Makerere University. Several commentators passionately spoke against the preying lecturers.
The students involved were cast as vulnerable victims, which is contrary to the truth. Any mature university girl that gives in to a lecturer’s sexual advances is as much at fault as the lecturer.

Consider a policeman that seeks a bribe from a motorist. If the motorist obliges, we cannot then only blame the policeman but the motorist too, for aiding the entrenchment of the vice. The driver opts for what they consider an easier way out instead of picking the ticket.

Similarly a university girl that gives in to a lecturer’s sexual advances is no saint.
Then there’s the other group of women that have faced the same plight at the workplace. While the male colleagues have been roundly condemned, the women that have given in to the sexual advances have largely been cast as victims with no other option. How wrong!!

Consider biblical Joseph and his reaction to the sexual advances of Potiphar’s wife. A youthful boy enslaved in a foreign land, without any family support system around him, Joseph was the ultimate picture of vulnerability. Yet even with the cost of not only losing a job but with a possibility of life imprisonment or a looming death penalty, he remained resolute. Work starts with the way we address the ladies. Women have largely been defined by what they have suffered, subconsciously propagating the victim mentality.

Circumstances do not define us and neither does what we do. Who we are is determined by our maker. If under a given circumstance I use my saloon car to felly bricks to a building site, the small car does not turn into a Fuso truck. And a bar of gold found in a sewage drainage remains a bar of gold and does not diminish in value.
The same principle should be applied to women. The fact that they have suffered certain cultural ills, does not change their primary identity. Biblically speaking God has never created a victim. He says we were all created in His image, a little lower than Himself, fearfully and wonderfully made, the apple of His eye etc. Such is the substance that should define us all.

So when did a person created in the image of God start thinking of themselves as helpless and vulnerable? When did ladies begin to value university degrees and jobs above their bodies, the temple of God?
It is simple. They accepted to be defined by the circumstances. But when women arise to who they really are according to God’s perspective, they will in turn awake to their true value and worth. And at this point if sexually coerced by men for marks or job favours, they will respond like Joseph.

When confronted by Potiphar’s wife, Joseph responded thus; “how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?”

He esteemed his relationship with God far above everything else including the job. His relationship with God defined him,

and shaped how he responded to circumstances. So what is that that defines you as a woman; a university degree or a job? God forbid!!

From an early age, I am grounding my daughter into who she truly is from God’s standpoint. This way she will espouse values that far surpass what many would die for. So by extension sex-for-marks is as much an indictment on parents; especially the values system you have imparted to your children. If it is all about academic excellence and career advancement above all else, then of all people you are most pitiable. For your children will go after them at whatever cost.