What happened to divine marriages?
Posted Tuesday, November 5 2013 at 02:00
I have been paying attention to media headlines about Princess Komuntale’s marriage. It is indeed hardly a year since we witnessed the colourful wedding. I was personally motivated by this great gesture the couple demonstrated before the world in this age when a section of the youth seem to consider weddings as a burden!
Indeed I was equally surprised to read in the media that the above marriage was coming to an end in what has been described as intolerable domestic violence. It is indeed a fact that many marriages seem to be characterised by abuse done by both partners. What is sheltered from the public is the fact that each partner simply blames the other without acknowledgement of personal errors.
Disagreements are a human phenomenon. These must never be spring boards for dissolution of any relationships. I believe that African indigenous methods of resolving marriage conflicts are still relevant to our society today. The role of parents, elders, relatives and in laws must be taken into account in keeping custody of current marriages.
Social media may not necessarily be the best forum for addressing relationship issues. There are always deep causes which must be listened to by mediators.
The goal of such mediators is not to apportion blame on who is more of a burden but to establish a common position for the way forward.
The African fraternity is still credited for its stand on the importance of marriage as a basic unit for ethical inculcation. We must guard this ancient philosophy jealously. What Africa needs is not strong husbands but wise ones. Similarly the continent needs wise ladies not strong ones.
The Africa philosophy of humanity and kindness provides an alternative to conflict resolution in marriages. Simply never do to your spouse what you shouldn’t have wished done to you. This correlates to the second golden commandment in the New Testament on love.
What I seem to realise is that the present generation seem to focus on living in relationship without challenges. I highly doubt whether such marriages exist on planet earth! The ability to support each other’s weaknesses into strength is what defines an ideal marriage. Otherwise if God was to be annoyed with us , who would survive. Marriage is still relevant for us.
We must encourage the future generation to respect this old custom by example. The ability to make great homes through marriage gesture is a reflection that we are children of God woven together by his unmerited Love.
John Vianney Ahumuza,