Museveni should just return to the bush

With Joseph Kony now an “expatriate” operating in Central Africa, Uganda has no serious guerilla on its soil. Gen. Museveni, Kiyonga (who even in 1980 refused to take his parliamentary seat) and Gen. Nyakairima could find a bush somewhere where they can hide

Maj. Gen. Mugisha Muntu is a cool-headed – even dull – political operator, who now heads the opposition FDC. Mr Tamale Mirundi is a diabolical media hit man working for President Museveni.

In the wake of the storm stirred up by President Museveni, Defence Minister Crispus Kiyonga and Commander of Defence Forces Aronda Nyakairima’s recent remarks, which suggested that the three honchos might not mind if the military seized power, Gen. Muntu made the harsh judgment that such a move by the army would be both stupid and counterproductive.

In a January 28 radio talk show, Mr Mirundi responded to a question on the subject by emphatically noting that Gen. Muntu had not denied the possibility of a coup; he had only said it would be stupid. Pressed to comment further, Mr Mirundi asked, rhetorically, whether stupid events had not happened before.

So, if President Museveni and company are not entirely upset by the thought of a military coup, his spokesman is not entirely upset by people who have called such (would-be) military action stupid.
Now, on the same radio programme, Mr Mirundi praised Justice Minister Kahinda Otafiire’s great intelligence and wisdom, which had enabled him to see that he could not be the minister in the docket responsible for constitutionalism and the rule of law and at the same time endorse the talk about military coups.

Well, Mr Mirundi was, of course, not being completely honest. Being the Justice minister would not stop the maverick General from endorsing militarist threats if he was enthusiastic. Rather, I think, this was one of those perfect moments for Gen. Otafiire to get a kick from rubbishing a Museveni utterance.

Anyhow, if, according to Mr Mirundi, a wise Justice minister would not play with the idea of military coups, what about the President of the republic? Is the minister of Justice more bound to preserve and protect the Constitution than the President?

Let us put it another way: Which would pose greater danger to the sovereignty, life, property and other rights of the people of Uganda? Would it be if the Justice minister or the President and Commander-in-Chief renounced the Constitution, especially if the President was in cahoots with the army commander and the Defence minister?

Only half a bird’s brain is required to answer that question. And since we all know the answer, what course of action should President Museveni take if he is unhappy with leading the country in its present restless state?

If the coup idea was a black joke by big boys who after so many years in power now regard the country as their personal property and can tease and bully the citizens in any manner they want, the net effect of the public response has been to call their bluff. Shoot, if you have the guts!

With the idea of the ruling clique mutating into an open military junta dismissed as ridiculous, President Museveni could try a pre-emptive colonial solution. Since this is a season of bad jokes, Mr Museveni could look at Sierra Leone, Libya and Mali and act more wisely than his former peers. Instead of waiting for Bazungu to come and sort out the mess our “confused” MPs may land Uganda into, Mr Museveni could invite Britain to sign a pact obliging our former colonial masters to take over the country in advance.

The better – if perhaps equally weird option – is for Museveni to officially become an outlaw again and return to the role at which he excelled. With Joseph Kony now an “expatriate” operating in Central Africa, Uganda has no serious guerilla on its soil. Gen. Museveni, Kiyonga (who even in 1980 refused to take his parliamentary seat) and Gen. Nyakairima could find a bush somewhere where they can hide – but not Luweero please – and launch a new protracted war, fighting against Parliament, the Judiciary and what would be left of the Executive and the national army. It is an enterprise that, if successful, could reward him with another 27 anniversaries in power.

Allan Tacca is a novelist and socio-political
commentator. altaccaone@gmail.com