Museveni at 90: A practical guide for an African Big Man

“The problem of Africa in general and Uganda in particular is not the people but leaders who want to overstay in power,” said President Yoweri Museveni on January 26, 1986, at his swearing-in at the steps of Parliament, Kampala.

“Some people think that being in the government for a long time is a bad thing. But the more you stay, the more you learn. I am now an expert in governance,” said President Museveni on February 18, 2012, in Kisumu, Kenya.

Now, as happens to most of us, when we age, we tend to forget. The President forgot that among “some people” who think it is bad to overstay in power, was himself – 26 years ago.
Enough said.

What is left is for me as a patriotic Ugandan, to contribute my two cents on the challenges of long rule. I suspect the President is fully aware that the last years of a long-reigning ruler are usually the most difficult. I sense though that what he might not have fully appreciated yet, is that every president-for-life requires special skills to live out and survive the peculiar temptations of these last years.

As a patriotic subject of the President, I have been doing some research that might help him:
1.The Mugabe Miscall: Most long-time rulers usually face pressure to demonstrate their virility and strength in their last years, particularly in their late 70s and 80s. Many of them usually make a fool of themselves by doing the obvious –taking a new young wife. Museveni’s friend, Zimbabwe’s tormentor Robert Mugabe, is a good example.

Mugabe has been in power six years longer than Museveni (since 1980). He is also older than Museveni. He celebrates his 88th birthday this week, and is reportedly planning to throw himself a $1m (Shs2.3b) bash. When, after the passing of his wife Sally, Mugabe decided to remarry, he chose his secretary Grace Marufu (they had something on the side when Sally was still alive), who is 41 years younger than him.

A smarter dictator would have chosen a wise woman who is 15-20 years younger with whom he would “grow old with”. Now our dear First Lady Janet is still tall, elegant, and looks to be in good trim, so we do not imagine that Museveni will have a need to officially remarry. But should, somehow, the need ever arise while he’s still serving out his until-do-part-me-from-the job presidency, as an elderly statesman, he should not embarrass us by doing a Mugabe.

2. The Mobutu Horror: One of the men Museveni despised for overstaying his welcome as president was DR Congo (then Zaire’s) Mobutu Sese Seko (but we shall let bygones be bygones). The corrupt Mobutu ruled for 32 years, until rebels kicked him out ignominiously in 1997.

A president doesn’t “eat” his salary. Taxpayer’s money takes care of his every whim. The result is that if a president is inclined, he can save a lot of money over 30 plus years. If he is from an oil or mineral-rich country, the country’s petrodollars and diamond billions have a way of mysteriously finding their way into his account.

Thus when Mobutu fell from power, he reportedly had $5b (Shs12 trillion) in his various accounts. It was several times more than bankrupt DR Congo had then.
With oil money around the corner, Museveni must take care not to end up being richer than Uganda. It would be very awkward.

3. The Kenyatta-Banda Blasphemy: Kenya’s founding father, Mzee Jomo Kenyatta, came to power when he was an old man of around 75. He was on the throne for 14 years, and died in 1978. His failing health sparked vicious succession jockeying in his last years. Kenyatta’s Anglophile and overzealous attorney general Charles Njonjo, made any reporting or speculation of Kenyatta’s age a serious crime. End of story.

In Malawi, another Anglophile (dictator) Dr Hastings Kamuzu Banda ruled for 33 years. He lost power in 1994 at the supremely ripe old of 96 (he was born around 1898). Banda didn’t thank God for a long life. Instead he banned any speculation on his age (in Senegal the 85-90 year-old turn-coat President Abdoulaye Wade has taken all his birth and related records out of government archives and hidden them).

Museveni needs to begin thinking through the Kenyatta, Banda (and now Wade) options early.
4.The Twilight Hobby: Of course, when a president is 90 years old, and can’t play tennis, golf, or tend his cattle, he must find something to spend his time on. Kenyatta, and his successor Daniel arap Moi to a lesser extent, had endless choirs and traditional dancers trooping to State House to perform for him.The President would do well to begin cultivating a taste for choral music and the African shuffle.

cobbo@ke.nationmedia.com