Does KCCA’s Musisi fear Pentecostal Voodoo?

Casual visitors must be forgiven if they think that Uganda is growing bigger on Christianity. They see churches sprouting everywhere. They see people flocking to places where ‘celeb’-rated pastors do overnight performances.
They see the minor pastors striving to catch up. They see droves of Bible-brandishing preachers striding up and down our streets, attacking every passer-by with the Word of God.
Pastors are turning into apostles. Apostles are turning into prophets. Almost every lovely young lady of means in the city will have two sessions; one with the pedicure and nail varnish boy, and one with her personal ‘pastor’ crouching on a plastic stool at her feet before she goes off to fornicate. Scores of radio and television stations are churning out heaps of Christian stuff. And so on.

Oh, a very Christian country, one might think. Jesus himself could turn up at a street corner any moment and declare Kampala the New Jerusalem.
But then maybe he would not.
Some weeks back, one of our better known pastors, Mr Aloysius Bugingo, thought of adding a layer of colour to his fame by burning hundreds of copies of versions of the Bible that he did not like, including the King James Version.

His quarrel was more ridiculous than his faith. In the condemned Bibles, expressions like ‘Holy Ghost’ instead of ‘Holy Spirit’ sounded Satanic and made him very angry.
Two weeks ago, appearing as a guest at a Sunday morning talk show on Impact FM, Pastor Michael Kyazze brought some relief to the programme.
Of the two regular chat show tickets, Mr Mukiibi delivers his words so slowly that he makes you sleep, and Mr Tumwine talks at such high speed that even he cannot properly follow or check his own reasoning.
Mr Kyazze got his radio speech delivery speed about right, and he made an interesting, if obvious, observation regarding Pastor Bugingo. He said some of our pastors preached so many times on a regular basis that they could no longer put together useful content.

Yes, of course. It is the story of your carpenters and other craftsmen and their shoddy handiwork.
It is the story of your urban teacher or lecturer doing a circuit of three or even four schools.
It is the story of mountains of Chinese manufactured goods that work for only a couple of weeks.
In other words, Pentecostal operators had turned the Gospel into a cheap (or worthless) commercial product. Kyazze used the word ‘sensational’; that is, the Gospel packaged merely to arouse intense emotions.
Clearly, if we wanted common sense, Pastor Kyazze had it.
But then, curiously, before the end of the programme, he had lost it.

At about the time the story of Pastor Bugingo’s Bible cremation exhibition was doing the rounds, the Kampala Capital City Authority (KCCA) executive director, Ms Jennifer Musisi, was reported to have announced that all street preachers were to leave the city streets.
Virtually every level-headed person welcomed the measure.
Most religious organisations have been sensible enough to keep their ritual practices and preaching generally in their places of worship, where they are accorded appropriate respect.
It is the Pentecostals who have seized and infested our streets like a type of ‘vermin’, offending thousands of people every day. Thankfully, KCCA’s iron lady was ending this abuse.

Okay? No. Pastor Kyazze, like most of his ilk at other fora, was utterly defiant: The Gospel would be preached everywhere.
Now, I believe that Pastor Kyazze can collect himself and reflect: If many church, radio and television-programmed pastors are talking too much to (consistently) deliver valuable content, what about the semi-literate preacher who plies the shifting multi-cultural street jungle from dawn to dusk, every day?
KCCA has apparently somewhat backtracked on the ban. But negotiations or discussions about ‘regulating’ this street lumpen spiritual class, combined with Voodoo-tinted threats to ‘complicate’ life for Ms Musisi, must be a ploy to buy time to maintain the status quo.

Mr Tacca is a novelist, socio-political commentator.

[email protected].