Museveni’s beautiful speeches abroad can’t govern Uganda at home

Last Sunday, on one of Uganda’s many Pentecostal radio stations, I heard a Born Again preacher express what could qualify as the “most idle idea of the year”. No medal for that – yet.

At their three-man early morning chat show on Impact FM, Mr Joseph Serwadda thought aloud, going in circles quite a bit, but strongly wishing that President Museveni would by some means hear his idea and give it serious consideration.

He was very polite. For this portion of the chat show, he was so self-deprecating you would think he was the embodiment of all those who are not fit to tie the straps of the President’s sandals; which, of course, is sometimes a signal that if the footwear is boots, they will be licked.

Emphasising that he was not a presidential adviser, he was putting his idea in the public domain for the President (and us?) to think about.

I am reminded of those illustrious newspaper columnists and letter writers, and disillusioned politicians, who cannot resist the temptation to pen the invariably doomed “Open Letter to the President”.

So, to the meat. Mr Serwadda has been religiously following the public speeches and actions of President Museveni, and he has often referred to them (generally with exceeding kindness) during the chat show.

But he had now listened to Mr Museveni’s most recent speech at the United Nations, and he was absolutely overwhelmed with joy. He even played back the speech for his show audience. According to Mr Serwadda, the Museveni who spoke at the UN was completely different from the Museveni who talked in various places on the Ugandan scene. And Mr Serwadda wanted President Museveni/Uganda Edition to abolish himself on the local scene!

Museveni/International Edition was so superior, talking about large African security and development themes, that Mr Serwadda wanted this marvellous New York statesman to come and take over in Uganda.

Mr Serwadda wants President Museveni’s speeches in Uganda to be like his speech(es) at the UN and such other great fora. He wants President Museveni to kind of forget… or ignore… or lower Uganda in his consciousness and deliver (in Uganda) visionary speeches similar to the UN masterpiece!

Have you finished smiling?
Okay, picture this scene: we are at Mulago, or Katwe, or Iganga, or Arua, or Kabale, and so on. There is plenty of NRM yellow around. Some semi-literate women or illiterate youngish men have gathered. They have talked about their legitimate or fake Saccos and they are eying the bags or envelopes of taxpayers’ money His Excellency the President has come with. Everything else is almost meaningless. Then His Excellency gets up and addresses the distinguished people and the common folk in their various categories as prescribed by protocol.

Then he proceeds: “Because of a shortage of time, I would like to outline very quickly why the wretched in Africa’s underclass are finding it difficult to earn their livelihood under the yoke of greedy and despotic euro… sorry, African rulers…”

It is just not possible. Rulers all over the world have their speeches and their actions crafted for the specific immediate interests, education level and dignity (or lack of it) of their audiences.

The more obsessed with power, and the greater the desire to be “popular” in different constituencies, usually the less principled their speeches become; and the less consistent their actions. Opportunism, expediency and populism become the shifting pillars of government policy. And with such powdery pillars, the tools of repression to buttress the mechanisms of control must not be far.

To pray that Museveni/International Edition replace Museveni/ Uganda Edition (on the Ugandan Scene) reflects the now generalised frustration with President Museveni’s leadership, even among his avowed supporters. They are groping for reasons to justify their continued support of his rule.

The wishful thought that the image President Museveni puts on at dignified international gatherings could somehow come down and govern a people he seems to despise is an advertent (if respectful) vote-of-no-confidence in a visionary who fought bush wars and fights bitter elections obviously to exercise power in Uganda, not over Africa.

Moreover, is there still an Africa out there waiting for President Museveni to deliver its redemption?
To be continued next Sunday

Mr Tacca is a novelist, socio-political commentator. [email protected].