To give or not give a ‘golden handshake’: Here’s how to do it

For a long time now, there has been no cross-party anger in Uganda, like there was over President Yoweri Museveni’s Shs6 billion “golden handshake” cash reward to 42 government officials for the settlement of an oil tax dispute in a London court.

Each of the 42 officials pocketed, on average, Shs200 million each.

I am a fan of big bonus pay-outs, which is why I have never been able to get really angry at those fat cheques CEOs around the world are getting. There are whole NGOs these days dedicated to fighting the “injustice”, though. As long as they are based on achieving real profits and set targets, let the money flow.

The problem with the Museveni “handshake” was not really the principle. It was that it was secret. Secondly, it was too narrowly shared. Thirdly, it was too specific to oil. It should be a general policy of reward.

Whenever I go astray and dream of becoming president, I think that in Africa such bonus schemes is what would help us reduce corruption.

We need to shift incentives toward getting public servants to save, not to steal or squander the taxpayers’ money. And we will do that through sharing the loot more democratically, and putting a premium on transparency.

Take the pension fund, billions of which were stolen. I would say, okay, there are 250,000 pensioners, for example’s sake. If you can ensure that 80 per cent of them get their payments on time in a year, then the people at the ministry of Public Service will get 15 per cent of the total pension pot as their bonus.

They would have to submit a report to Parliament, and there would be a public hearing. If the Parliament committee can finish studying and make recommendations before the end of January of every year, they also get a cut of the pot.

If I were president, I would have made public that I would give an oil-cash “golden handshake” and also publish a list of 120 people – maybe even including myself, by way of nominating charities who get my share – who’d get a cut of the oil money if we won. I would have made the purse bigger – Shs8 billion. I would lower the average pay a little.

I would then have submitted it to Parliament for approval. Then we win, and we share things openly.
I think Uganda Revenue Authority still gives rewards for people who give information on tax cheats.

My problem is that the reward is small. The fellow was not going to pay tax anyway, so if some whistleblower brings you information, why give him or her only 10 per cent? I would push a law to give whistleblowers 50 per cent, then sit back and smile.

So that’s another area I would attack based on this principle.
If the government budgets to build valley dams for Shs250 million, and the officials at the ministry of Agriculture or whatever deliver each dam for Shs180 million, and it’s the same quality, I think, after due process, we would share half-half the Shs70 million they saved on each dam. The government would still be Shs35 million better off on each dam.

The same process would happen on tenders. If the chief at UNRA can deliver a road for Shs100 billion, on schedule, and to the same quality, instead of the Shs200 billion budgeted for, I would have no problem letting them keep Shs50 billion, and return Shs50 billion to the Treasury.

Headmasters would get the same incentives, and I would give Makerere University the same, though more sophisticated because they are supposed to be cleverer than the rest of us. Pass a law that if your department comes up with and patents an innovation that goes to market, Shs100 million is yours. If you can save Shs500 million on fees from private students, and deliver a certain quality of student, you can have Shs400 million to share among yourselves.
Then you spread as far across the country as possible, deep into the villages.

The problem with these things is if only a few are “eating”, and appointments to big positions are not on merit, and skewed toward some political groups and regions, and not others. Because then, even if there are open incentive policies, politics will mean certain Ugandans will never chop, as the west Africans say.

These kinds of policies, and big pay days, would begin to attract a lot more talented people to public service than Uganda is able to do today. The benefits would be massive.

If President Museveni had in a past New Year message, or the URA in its budget, made a provision for the “golden handshake” there would have been less controversy.

It is amazing what shining light in darkness can achieve, when it comes to slicing the national cake.

Onyango-Obbo is the publisher of Africa data visualiser Africapedia.com and explainer site Roguechiefs.com. Twitter@cobbo3