Saturday March 22 2014

Need another baby

By Uncle Joe Musaalo,

I’m a father of two and want to take on another woman to have two more children. My wife seems exhausted to handle labour ward moments again. How can I handle? Richie M.

Dear Richie M, Basing on the tone of your statement youmight need to create a conducive atmosphere for discussion with your wife. Did you discuss the size of your family with your wife before marriage? How much support have you given your wife; psychologically and emotionally.
Definitely, the child bearing process poses fear and anxiety. The beauty of it is when the child is born, you receive congratulatory messages from loved ones. Despite this, the baby comes with new ‘rules’ for it to enjoy the new environment. Unfortunately, the baby’s communication is normally through noise and non-verbal.

Therefore, this has a great toll on the mother who has to keep up with the baby’s demands, which may stress her. Every child born whether in the womb or out, comes with a dose of stress to the mother, medically referred to as paediatric stress. Richie, if you do not support your wife and care for the child, the burden is heavier for her and she may not be interested in bearing more children.

Richie, could there be health issues besides the labour moments or some financial concerns that pose fears in her, especially when the family financial position is not that stable; perhaps she raises some of the finances.

You are thinking of another wife for more children. What do you think are the likely consequences of this? Have you discussed it with your wife? Will not this bring more trouble in the family?

How is your communication as a couple? Why do you want more children? Is it historical or socially influenced or do you have one sex of the children and want to balance. However, bearing in mind that determination of the sex of the child is by you the man, and also not forgetting the supernatural powers above.
Uncle Joe Musaalo,
Counselling Psychologist