How people really spend Valentine’s

What you need to know:

Celebrating love. I know people who make a big deal of Valentine’s Day and will sulk at signs of no affection from anyone, but then there are those who will also treat it like a normal day. Mathias Wandera writes.

When people start to relish their Valentine’s experiences, the talk always steers to the side of glamour and what sometimes even seems like pure fantasy. You find a group of divas in the salon, their heads motionless under those big hair dryers, each with a lifestyle magazine in hand, flipping through the pages.
Felicia will gleefully turn to Liz and flash the travel page in her face, telling her of how the safari lodge featured in there was her destination for the previous valentines. She will go ahead to let rip of the details.
“It was a surprise. I mean I have always known Mark to be romantic, but there is no way in the world I would have imagined that he would take me to a safari in the countryside. It was a beautiful place. I enjoyed the quiet. And he treated me like royalty,” she will announce.
Surprisingly, it is in that same glamorous fashion that some people spend their Valentines, or at least that is how they make it seem. But is everyone’s Valentines really an affair of roses and candle-lit dinner? How exactly do people spend their valentines?

The reality
Nicole Kobusingye, a university student believes Valentine’s Day is important, though she feels sometimes people tend to blow it out of proportion.
“I like Valentine’s and I have on some occasions been lucky to receive flowers. But I do not get too excited about it, neither does my boyfriend. We do not go on a spending spree to take a vacation to exquisite destinations. Flowers and a card carrying a message of love have always been enough,” she says.
Maurice Kirya, a musician, says most Valentine’s have actually passed him by without having anything as much as a celebration because he always finds himself with shows to perform at on Valentine’s Day, hence he often reserves the day to entertain his fans.
“I always find myself having to perform on Valentines, so I think it is safe to say I celebrate Valentine’s Day sharing my music with my fans,” Kirya says.
For Nicholas Mulekwa, a pharmacy attendant and father of two, Valentine’s Day is only a reminder of some of the best dates he ever had with the long string of ex-lovers he boosts of. He says he used to celebrate Valentines but over time he has lost touch with the day.
“I remember back then at university I used to throw away a lot of money all in the name of Valentines. I always had a girlfriend and Valentines sure did come with a bit of pressure to please her, the pressure I somewhat enjoyed. I would start saving up a month prior and when the day came I usually blew her away with gifts and ice cream dates,” Mulekwa reminisces.
But now he says responsibilities and age have thrown him off the wagon of the people who celebrate Valentines. Now he spends money on schools fees and family welfare, not flowers and cards.
“Besides, madam is the kind who will not even talk about Valentine’s. I doubt she is into flowers and gifts. We are good the way we are and we share special love every day, we reserve nothing for valentines,” he adds.
Samantha, a receptionist at an insurance company, who prefers her second name withheld because of the sensitivity of her situation, confesses of how she hates Valentine’s Day. This mother of one says she has never received flowers from any man she was involved with, not even from her boyfriend and father to her six-year-old daughter.
“None of the men I have dated actually give a hoot about Valentine’s. The only person who has ever sent me flowers was my brother’s best friend. That was way back in high school. And he was only a friend as well. Otherwise my Valentines is always a usual day — I go to work as always. I’m glad this coming one will fall on a weekend so that I won’t have to sit here at this desk receiving flowers for my female colleagues,” she shares.
But much as some people do not celebrate Valentines due to busy schedules, their single status and sometimes partners who do not care for flowers, other people do not celebrate the day simply because they feel Valentines is a waste of everyone’s time.

Not a big deal
Keith Lubega, a Mubs student, believes love is a story set among the desperate. He therefore finds it sad that people get excited about Valentines.
“I do not celebrate Valentines. Not because I have no girlfriend and, of course, not that I do not have enough to spend, I just do not consider the day. I do not see myself carrying a bouquet of flowers around town. No way! So there is nothing I do for Valentines. That is how I spend it,” Lubega says.
Rhona Nakalule, a spokesperson at KnightFrank, seems to read from Lubega’s script. In her view, a lot of people do not even know the story behind Valentines and yet ironically go ahead and celebrate it.
“Personally I go about my business as usual. I go to work on Valentines and I do nothing special about the day,” Nakalule says.
However, Edrine Kawuki, an electronics trader is against this school of thought as he insists that Valentine’s Day surely does call for celebration. According to him, couples need to take advantage of this day to strengthen their bond by giving some special treatment to their partners.
“This valentines comes when I’m single but the norm has always been to take the girl I am involved with out on this day. And, of course, I make it a point to buy her flowers because apparently some ladies do not consider Valentines complete without flowers. I like to make a big deal of this day, deservedly, that is,” Kawuki says.
So, big deal or not? It is your call. But before you choose to ignore your partner and pretend like it is a normal Saturday, try asking around among their friends and see if they feel the same way. It will not hurt to do something different or tell them how special they are.

IF WISHES WERE HORSES, WHAT WOULD YOU WANT THIS VALENTINE’S DAY?

“I proposed to her some time back but she has never agreed to my proposal. I love her so much and I wish she agrees to my request and tells me that she loves me too on that day,”
Simon Peter Kimbowa, self-employed

“Since we have just introduced, I wish to get a surprise wedding. I have always dreamt of a stress-free wedding where I do not have to invite people for wedding meetings,”
Annet Male, air hostess

“I wish to get a wrist watch. It is something that shows your partner wishes the best for you and it means that it is just a matter of time and that you have to wait. I attach a lot of meaning to time,”
Paul Kiganda, student

“It must be something I will wear every day and everywhere I go. It may be as simple as a silver necklace that will forever remind me about him,”
Winnie Tabitha, freelance writer

“I am not specific on what gift I should get. A belt, watch, perfume, boxers, vests, socks and others can make my day as long as it is from someone I love. It is all about understanding your partner. I hate complicating things,”
Marvin Kirunda, freelance writer

“I would gladly appreciate whatever he gives me as long as it is from his heart. You know these gifts usually send us silent messages that we must meditate upon and know what was in his mind when he was buying the gift,”
Nisha Mpungu, saleswoman

“I do not expect him to bring me the usual gifts. This is a special day so I wish he can surprise me with a candle-lit dinner in a quiet place, probably gardens,”
Damalie Zalwango, Hardware manager

“I wish she can spend the entire day with me in a place like a theatre or a beach. Such places are good and you always remember the good times you shared with the person you love,”
Patrick Musoke, secretary

“I do not know if there is something that suits my love for him. He usually sends me gifts but this time I want something simple. Red roses and taking me for dinner would make my day complete,”
Rahma Mohammed, self employed

“I do not have a particular gift I wish to have but if she stays with me, she already knows what I want. She can get me something unique and different from the things she always gives me,”
Steven Olam, IT technician

Compiled by Beatrice Nakibuuka