A love brewed in bars

Love and partying. Agnes Akello Muhame was born and raised in Bukedea District. She is a statistician and economist working in the Research Function of Bank of Uganda. She is married to Giles Muhame, the director of ChimpReports, an online media platform. The two met and continually used to bump into each other in bars around town before Muhame asked her out. And from the many bar-hopping times love blossomed. They share their love story with Edgar R. Batte.

Her story >

What was your first impression of Giles?
I thought he was a smart, intelligent but shy guy. He had a nice, sweet smile.

Did you think you two would become an item?
No. I had no idea.

What was your first meeting like?
Hmmm, you won’t believe it. He didn’t even say hi. I met him with a friend of mine whom he had an interview with. You know how journalists are like.

When did you officially get to talk?
He invited me out for dinner on Women’s Day of 2012. This was after three months of bumping into each other in bars.

Did you ever dance with him during the bar hoping?
Yes, I did.

When did you commit?
After our first dinner.

What convinced you about him?
His confidence. He was straight on point and clearly stated what he wanted. He presented himself without hyping himself. That is what I liked about him. I noticed he was a hardworking guy and never feared taking any risks.

Were you single at the time?
I wasn’t officially seeing someone but I had a guy who was also interested in me.

How did you deal with the two?
Of course I weighed my options and since I needed a gentleman, I simply went silent on the other one. I had told Giles that I had a boyfriend but he wasn’t convinced because I was a freestyle girl who loved partying. Giles, however, told me he was willing to be on the bench.

Didn’t the other guy follow up on you?
No he didn’t. That’s when I discovered that perhaps he was not serious in the first place.

At what point did you move in?
I moved in after two years of dating.

Did this change the way you related?
No. It even made it better because we were now closer to each other.

Were there changes or adjustments made?
Yes, there were a few changes. On my side I had to stop hanging out with my male friends to focus on my relationship. I also had to adjust the way I did things because I grew up working like a man. Now I had to adjust to try an act like a lady not to put him off much as he admired my ways.

What aspects of your behaviour did you change?
Well, you know it’s hard to change personality traits but rather adjust. I learnt how to be more patient, forgiving and more open.

What did you do first on your wedding day?
I prayed. I was emotional.

What were your big five highlights on the wedding day?
The decoration was on point, the cake, the guests, the food and drinks, music and surprise entertainment by Rema Namakula.

Is there anything that went wrong?
Only at church, there was no power in the morning and the there was no one to operate the generator. The church wanted us to proceed without power but we refused and that caused delays for close to an hour. It was so embarrassing seeing our friends and relatives waiting in church yet they had kept time.

Who was your matron?
My matron is a good friend of mine called Hellen Tusiime Vigga.

And the bridesmaids?
My two nieces Lillian Ojakol and Patricia Atom plus two of Giles’ sisters Dellah Nyakazi and Blessing Jean.

In which church were you wedded?
At All Saints Church, Nakasero.

Where was the reception?
Royal Suites Hotel, Bugolobi.

Who made your cake?
It was made by Devine Confectionery.

How tasty was it, and how big?
The cake was very delicious and was more than enough for our guests because everybody ate. We of course had side cakes to which we gave to 10 people.

How was your honeymoon?
Our honeymoon was fantastic. We had quality time together, enjoyed touring and shopping.

What big plans do you have together?
We have big investment plans, right now we are finalising with constructing our house and socially, we look forward to being a model couple.

How easy or hard has it been adjusting from a party girl to a mother and wife?
I should say it wasn’t hard at all because my man equally loves parting. The fact that I moved in made it easy for me to understand my roles as a wife. Motherhood wasn’t easy at all but I had a lot of help from my girlfriends who are mothers.

How did your girlfriends help you?
By sharing their experiences and telling me what to expect at every stage.

When did you get married?
May 9, 2015 was the introduction and the wedding was on May 16, 2015.

His story>

How would you describe yourself to a stranger?
A down-to-earth, thoughtful, patient and anti-clockwise thinker. I am deeply religious, strict moralist, entrepreneur and innovator.

What do you do for a living?
I am an entrepreneur - running the fastest growing and popular news website – ChimpReports with focus on Uganda and entire the Great Lakes region. I have interests in real estate and ICT innovations.

Behind a successful man is a woman, how true is this for you?
Correct. She keeps you on the right line. Men, including myself are naturally adventurous hence prone to mistakes. Agnes is a good counsel. She regulates my way of life without offending me. She is supportive in taking decisions in regard to investments. Being an economist, she is opposed to wastefulness thus allowing the family save and raise enough money for self-help projects.

What more is there for you to say of her?
She is good at keeping records for everything which facilitates thorough planning and execution of our family projects. She is mindful of my dress-code, a reason I have many suits at home. I never owned one until we met. She pays keen attention to diet which helps me maintain my baby face and athletic body in good shape. Agnes loves and cares a lot for our daughter Arianna which keeps my heart warm.

How and when did you first meet Agnes?
We met at a swimming pool of a hotel in Kampala. I was busy on my laptop so we didn’t connect. We would later meet at a Rugby match where we developed feelings for each other.

Who of you two broke the ice?
I did. I wrote her emails and took her out for coffee every day for about 90 days.

What was it like saying hello to her for the first time?
I am shy. So it was not easy. I kept moving in circles without hitting the nail on the head.

What initially struck you about her?
She is extremely brilliant and beautiful. I later learnt about her ambitious attitude and thoughtfulness. She pays attention to detail and does not call a spade a big spoon. She is jolly and a superb entertainer.

Were you in a relationship when you met her?
No. I was just emerging from campus struggling to set up a business.

So how did you present your manifesto to her?
I asked her to be my friend and from there the romance started.

What kind of romance did you two start?
Romantic dinners.

What would you talk about during these cosy meetings?
A life together, children, business, hardwork, wedding, honeymoon and exotic holidays.

What was her response to all these lavish promises?
Not promises. We were discussing how to jointly work for the realisation of our dreams. She was full of optimism.

How long did you date?
Two years, if my memory serves me right.

What were the fruits and experiences during dating?
We learnt a lot from each other especially on managing bruised egos, patience and selflessness. Most importantly, it was clear we could live together.
At what point did you realise that Agnes was a woman your heart and mind were ready to commit to and cherish for life?
During the dating phase, there was no shed of doubt we were headed for marriage.

When did you decide to make your relationship official?
When she returned from Japan, after an academic course.

What was it like meeting her family?
Heart-warming. It was a good experience. Plenty of food and knowing each other.

Do you remember what went through your mind on the night before and on the morning of your wedding day?
I was confident. I knew it was something special. I was psychologically prepared for the event but on the wedding day, my heart skipped a beat. We had not made enough rehearsals so I was worried of making mistakes. But my movements at the altar were thorough. It was a success.

What were your five highlights at your wedding?
Good decoration, plenty of food and wine. We had short speeches. My friends mobilised for a nice cocktail that our guests enjoyed before our arrival at the reception.
There was dancing and plenty of drinks. Seeing our parents, guardians and friends enjoying every bit of the party was humbling and heart-warming.
The wedding occurred after the attempted coup in Burundi so most of my friends from neighbouring countries missed out.

How many guests did you invite to your wedding?
Two hundred. We got only five extra people.

Who was your bestman?
My former Makerere University Mass Communication coursemate, Don Rwihura.

Why did you choose him to be your best man?
He is my friend and confidant.

Where was your reception and honeymoon?
Our wedding reception was at Royal Suites, Bugolobi. Honeymoon was in the United Arab Emirates.
We had many activities in the sand and lots of shopping in those giant and glamorous malls.

Why the UAE?
We had never been there before. It was a new experience. It was cheaper going to UAE than chilling at Chobe Lodge.

How much did you spend on the wedding?
Shs55 million.

What took much of the budget?
It was the food.

What are the pillars upon which your marriage stands?
Love, trust, selfnessnes and forgiveness.
I take my wife as my friend. If you were not keen, you would think we are just friends. We respect each other. I can cook and wash dishes.

What do you think are the reasons for failed marriages today?
Economic hardships, failure to learn each other’s characters before marriage, selfishness and loss of trust.

How is trust and honesty built in a relationship?
One must have self-respect.