A ring does not give you the right to jail your spouse
A ring does not give you the right to jail someone
What you need to know:
- My dear son, this young girl here had a life before she became your wife, do not be the one who ends it for her. She had friends and hobbies that brought out the best in her, why do you want her to live in misery?
I recently stumbled on a quote that made me wonder, “marriage is a prison, choose your cell mate wisely”. At first I thought this was a post by a pessimist but realised there is no smoke without fire. If they called marriage a prison, then they must have felt jailed.
Much as a ring is a sign of commitment to one another, it does not mean you own your spouse. She is your wife and not your slave.
A few weeks ago, we took a friend out for lunch on her birthday. She kept receiving calls from her husband who wanted her to return home.
He then called me and said, “madam, your friend is my wife…” I responded and asked; “Who amongst us said otherwise?” he kept quiet. One of our aunts, who was also at the party picked the phone from me and told him, “my dear son, this young girl here had a life before she became your wife, do not be the one who ends it for her. She had friends and hobbies that brought out the best in her, why do you want her to live in misery?”
At this point, the birthday girl’s mood had become sombre. She was in tears, “I do not prohibit him from watching football games, sometimes he returns home at 2am and I do not pick fights with him but why would he make me feel the worst on my birthday which he had even forgotten about?” she said amidst sobs. She felt suffocated and trapped. She had reached a point of regretting her choice to get married.
Most husbands think that by paying bride price, they bought your rights as a human being. They begin by cutting you off from your friends, then they convince you that you do not need to work so you should just give up your career and sit home to wash his clothes and warm his dinner.
Eventually, your dreams fade away and you are convinced that you are your husband’s shadow. But no, you are a human being on your own, your husband is not supposed to complete you but to rather compliment you.
Marriage is not a prison until you make it one. If your spouse is suffocating you, it is because you are letting them do so.
“How am I supposed to fight him” you ask but there is no amount of punches or abuses that can buy you freedom.
You just have to get it back. Do what makes you happy and let him do what pleases him. I think marriage just changes your status but does not change who you really are. You are not defined by the ring on your finger but who you are as a person. So, break the chains off each other, make marriage lively and live happily ever after.
Twitter: @kalungixtyn
