Dear Heart2Heart, I am 27 and I have been working in Abu Dhabi for five years but travel to Uganda once in a while to check on my projects. For all the time I am in Uganda, I have tried to meet a woman who is serious about settling down but have realised all who agree to date me are after my money. I have also tried dating Ugandan women in Abu Dhabi but face the same problem. What should I do to get a woman who is ready to settle down and start a family? Woods.
Aturinda Doreen. Be humble and stop using your money to attract women. Set the qualities you want in a woman and start focusing on finding the right one.
Kembabazi Imelda. Stop showing off your money in the first place n do not tell every woman that you work in Abu Dhabi. The moment you do this, women will just look at you as a cash machine. Wise up.
Daniel Ogwal. Like a son once asked his father; dad, how can I get a good wife? The father replied, “my son, do not work so hard on trying to find a good woman. Just focus on being a good man first.
Jane Frances. You might also be showing them that you have the money. If I may ask, did you have a girlfriend before you travelled to work abroad? I believe she could be the one who truly loves you. Go back to the one who loved you when were not rich.
Fred Sabila. Did you think good women are in the city? Please go and search in the village because that is where you will find a woman with the qualities you want.
Stella Khakasa. Many Ugandan women are after money. However, take time and humble yourself and the right one will come along. There are many women who are ready to settle down and are not after money.
Ivan Waswa. First discover your weakness, then learn how to overcome it. It seems you are talking too much about yourself and keep showing off your money. Grow up and stop this behaviour or you will keep attracting only gold diggers.
Kugonza Fred Achaali. If you show them that you have the money, why wouldn’t they want to take it? Do not go around sleeping with women because you will end up with HIV. Pray to God, conduct yourself with respect and do not go around showing off your money and a serious woman will be attracted to you. If we have seen many who want to settle with us even if we do not have money, what about you with some? Check your personality.
Richard Wilber Ndererimana. Go back to your village and you will get a good trusted woman. Even your village elders will help you identify the right one. Good luck.
Winnie Kyomuhendo. I think the antidote to that suspicious mind of yours is to stay single.
Edmond Asamoah Jesse. I think your approach starts with the colour of money. Check the way you talk and the kind of things you say to her on your first date.
Lucus Marcus. What do you want them to be after? That is why men work. There is no such thing as love. Just compassion, care and understanding. Get one at random, treat her well and see if she will leave you.
Orishaba Annette. It is not easy to get a wife. Ask God to guide you and you will not regret.
Herman Batu Batu. Just keep behaving well in society. Greet people, dress decently, avoid using vulgar language and you will attract the right kind of woman.
Daniel Ogwok. Do not make your money the subject of your marriage and please try and build a relationship based on trust and love not money.
Jamie Osborne. No, they are not after your money. It is all in your head. You are probably flaunting your money the reason you are attracting only women who want to spend it. Consult your mother or mother figure in your life and these will help you find the right partner.
Arua Ceaser. There are a number of good women out there. Try to present yourself differently by being simple, humble and there should be no need to talk about you working abroad.
Alfred Avuni. Sometimes I feel one can find a good woman among hustlers in town. When you see one, try to buy something from her. Be friendly and see how she relates. You may be surprised she is the woman you need. I say this because women in business know how hard it is to work hard and make money.
Thomas Oluk. Now that is the truth. All will be after your money. No single woman will marry and stay in the relationship when you have no money. They will use all tactics including telling you how they are not materialistic to get you to commit.
Jonathan Okiru, counsellor, Family life network
Analyse your relationship
Dear Woods, many youths like you face a similar challenge but you should try to understand that marriage is a long term relationship. If you want to achieve the best marrige, you must invest good time in finding the right partner. You cannot just pick upon one who is available. Many people are just surviving and will therefore want the money you have and not marriage.
It is important to note however, that there are women who are ready to settle for marriage but it takes time to identify them. You therefore don’t need to be in a rush to pick on whoever is available.
From your circle of friends, you may pick someone and cultivate a friendly relationship with her but be clear about the intention of your friendship. Communicate to them and then zero down to someone who you think deserves you.
Take about a year studying the person and make sure your guiding rule and boundaries are clear. See if they suit your qualities you may have set. Once you had good communication in the start, if things fail, give an apology and move on.
Compiled by Beatrice Nakibuuka