Always a bridesmaid but never the bride, take heart

When you are below 23 years, you feel priviledged to be a bridesmaid. But as years go by, you get tired of being on the other side of the entourage, the desire to wear the white gown rises and slowly you start hating weddings, you turn down every request to be a bridesmaid.

And you become defensive every time your friends or family members bring up the marriage discussion.

Deep down you don’t hate the wedding but the idea that you are not the one in the white dress is weighing you down.
You know there’s a way weddings stir up the desire to get married.

Almost 99 per cent of wedding guests are either reminiscing about how their wedding day was or they are visualising how their wedding day will be like. But for the person who has been the bridesmaid time and again, the honour ceases to be a blessing but an embarrassment.

Your face becomes familiar to the audience that they could easily label you “senior bridesmaid”. You have waited for the day when it will be your turn to walk down the aisle in vain.

For some reason, you feel life is not treating you fairly. Well, who said we are all running on the same timetable?
This is not a class, it is reality- we have seen people get married at 23 but wait for six or more years to get a baby whereas another gets married at 30 and after nine months, is breastfeeding.

Not to use it as an excuse though, but sometimes we have to accept that we are not in full control of our destiny. Stop beating yourself up because your young sister is getting married and having babies; you might be the talk of your family but keep your head high.

Abraham got a child at 100 years and Sarah his wife at 91 but he was written in the records as the father of faith.

My friend Jackie’s young sister was getting married and her aunties wanted her to be a bridesmaid. She refused without even thinking about it and when she did, her aunties told her she was jealous of her young sister.
“You should be happy for your sister, it’s not her fault that she could get herself a man and you couldn’t.”

Jackie lost it since this specific aunt was the kind she only saw at functions and not on school visitations or in hospitals when she or her siblings were sick. “Please, direct me where they sell them (husbands)…I will be more than willing to get one for myself and one for you.”

This was maybe out of line but she said she feels relieved now that no one brings up that discussion anymore in fear of what she might say to them. Much as it is prestigious to be married in our society, it does not guarantee life after death and neither does it make you immortal.