An ultimatum opened the doors of love - Dr Hilderman

When and how did you meet Hillary Kiyaga?
Cissy: I met Hillary in 2002. Having come from Makerere College (Macos) a school that engaged me a lot in performing arts (I was one of the best) and people like Henry Mpinga can testify to this. We used to frequent the National theatre and had many friends at campus. We met in those circles.

So, when did the two of you eventually become close?
Hillary: I do not quite remember. I remember us starting out as friends and somehow one thing led to another. Before I knew it, she was my best friend.
Cissy: When I joined Makerere later in 2003, a friend of mine Eric Jemba happened to be Hillary’s classmate. Hillary had already confided in him his interest in me. I was not easy to catch.

As a campuser I wanted to attend Bobi Wine’s graduation party since he was a star by then. The condition that Eric gave me was to give me an invitation card where I had to go with Hillary. I consented to his condition. Hillary called asking where we would meet and after sent me a message, I’m lucky to have been invited with you, for the party and I can’t wait to see you.” We hooked up at Bobi Wine’s graduation party. I had known him already but this is the day I gave him more attention and, from then on, it became hotter and hotter. I remember him coming for the overnight in 2003 at KPC now Watoto Church just to end the year with me. He was my best friend at campus and we often had lunch and dinner together.

When and how did he finally propose to you?
Hillary: Edgar, I cannot tell you that but I am sure she remembers everything.
Cissy: Hillary asked me to marry him when I was still 22 years old after my graduation. He took me out and asked me so many things about our relationship. He knelt down and asked me to marry him. I had no response at that time because I was still at home. I thought I was young but he was serious. I said yes to him and he officially visited my home in Nansana in 2007- the year I graduated. We later organised our introduction in December 2008.

What attracted you to each other?
Cissy: The only thing I remember is that there was someone who used to greet me every day but I used not to give him that much attention. After the acquaintance at Bobi’s graduation party, we started frequently visiting each other.
His character was different from what I expected. I used to ask him lots of questions like “why do you have to plait your hair?, Can you sing for me something?, Why don’t you sing for God? I was an innocent girl and I guess our character complemented each other.
Hillary: The simplicity and her humility are two of those things that made me fall for Cissy. Being friends had allowed me get to know her and appreciate her. So when we fell in love, it was easy. She was someone I could talk to and share with her anything and everything.

What did you enjoy most either during the church service or reception?
Cissy: When my father Andrew Settumba was walking me down the aisle. I walked the aisle with my own choice of song which is not usually the case at Rubaga Cathedral.
Like any other couple, we had had our challenges but I always put everything to God and had a motto “My redeemer lives” and its the very song I chose by Nicole C. Mullen. That song makes both of us emotional and even when I used to listen to it before the wedding, I would shed an emotional tear. Hillary and I have loved each other through thick and thin. When he shed a tear, I too did but the veil was covering me. Have you ever loved someone so much that they make you cry?

Have you ever tried to find words to say but you end up shedding an emotional tear? If you have then that is what I felt. I had reached the epitome of love and so had he.

What disappointments did you have on that day?
Hillary: We had paid for 600 guests but there was an excess. I don’t know from where and we had to pay 3m more. I wonder what grooms that do not have money with them at that time do?

What was going through your mind during the wedding ceremony?
Cissy: I was just happy and felt like a champion. Many women out there long for that day and here I was in achievement! Just like a footballer feels when he scores a goal.

Did you go for honeymoon?
Cissy and Hillary (chorus): Yes, we did and had an adventurous one.
Cissy: We stayed in Munyonyo where my husband told me that he couldn’t have made such a luxurious wedding and then go back to the little crib we used to rent in Makindye.
That week, we went to CTM and bought tiles for our house and, his friends helped us shift the things to our new home in Rubaga.
We could not stay there but at least we knew that December rent would not accumulate.
The weekend after our wedding, we had our after-party at Francis Sembuya’s home by Lake Victoria then after, we set off to Bangkok, Thailand for a week and four days in Dubai. When we returned we were given a treat at the Chobe Safari Lodge. I sure did enjoy my honeymoon.

How helpful was premarital counselling?
Just like going to school is helpful. There are lessons learned in those sessions. The Tuesday class at Rubaga is super. I did learn from those sessions. Lots of knowledge on intimacy, among other marriage spices.

Did you going for honeymoon as vital?
It is very vital for every couple to have honeymoon. It is a time to relax and appreciate more after having made a lifetime commitment. It is a time of true love where you set goals and values of your new life as Mr and Mrs....

What is your advice to newlymarried couples?
Cissy: Wives these days tend to live an “emancipated life” forgetting that men love surbordinance.
Hillary: The Bible says it too that wives should be subordinate to their husbands. If you are not in agreement then issues should be discussed with respect and love.