Thursday April 10 2014

And the Lord chose Harriet to be Rashid’s eyes

Rashid with his wife and son.

Rashid with his wife and son. 

His story :
When did you meet Harriet?
In February 2010 in Luzira, a Kampala suburb. I had gone to preach at Life Ministries Church.

What was your first meeting like?
She had asked people in that church about me and they told her that I interprete dreams. She then came to me and shared her dream, and I helped her interprete it.

What made you fall in love with her?
We first became friends and it is from our meeting that I realised she had constructive ideas like how to plan for a family and how to respect a man in marriage. I saw a great future in her.

When and how did you propose to her?
It was in August 2010. Since I had got her contact, I called her after the church service and told her that I had a discussion that I wanted to engage her in. When we met, I poured out my heart and told her that I wanted us to be together.

Were you scared that she would refuse you?
Yes, I was. However, I had courage and strong hopes. I had it in mind that ladies always play hard-to-get, so I knew that she would refuse but would later give me a chance.

How did she react?
She told me to give her some time to think about it. After two months, she finally endorsed my proposal.

Was she the only person you had dated or had there been others?
She was the only person I had dated because I had never met someone who moved me like she did.

What was your wedding like?
It was like any other wedding. It was not so special; normal and simple. We joined hands to see to it that it became a success. What I liked most about it is that it happened within the stipulated time. It was never postponed like other weddings and this gave me pleasure.

What did your friends say about Harriet?
My friends didn’t say much. Most of them know that by the time I decide to do some thing, I must have analysed it critically. They gave me a go-ahead.

What are the things that you like most about Harriet?
She is understanding. She does not love me for money. Besides, she is patient and caring. She is too good indeed and she is my sweetheart.

What things does she do that you don’t like?
She takes things to be easy. She is never serious about certain things.

Do you ever wonder what she looks like?
You see, I am someone who imagines things and they happen. Even before I married her, I prayed to God to show me what Harriet looks like. When I told her what she looks like, she thought people had told me, yet it was not the case. I know that she has a chocolate-skin complexion and is of medium size.

How has your marriage been so far?
It has been okay and interesting because we love each other. One of the best times we have shared is when we had our baby boy. Many people gave us gifts, money, food and many other things. It was a happy moment for both of us. People started respecting us. However, the most challenging thing is that at times I fail to raise money for rent and whenever my wife falls sick, I get scared because there is no money to take her to the hospital. Another thing that gets me worried is that I have no land to settle my family. I am tired of renting. I would have bought land if I had a job but I haven’t got one yet.

Do you ever feel bad that you are not providing for your family?
Yes, because I rarely get money. I only get money from friends. I am scared that this might affect my family.

Do you ever feel the fear of other men stealing her?
No. My wife trusts me so much and I have never thought about it. Besides, my wife respects herself. I have no fear at all.

What advice would you give to any couple in marriage?
Before one gets married, they should make sure that they establish a friendship with someone they have interest in. This will help them fully understand one another. Also, one should not look at many qualities because you may fail to cope with them. In marriage, strive to have a mutual understanding. Listen to one another and be friends. Let all of you be responsible and above all, God-fearing.

Her story
How did you feel when Rashid told you that he was interested in you?
There was no problem with it. It was a normal thing. Even though he is blind, I never looked at that as a problem. The only major point here was getting a genuine partner who would understand and show me love in marriage.

What attracted you to him?
I was attracted by his intelligence. The way he analyses things made me fall for him. He is also God-fearing and despite being blind, he is handsome. These, coupled with his sense of humour, made me die for him.

What did your family and friends say when they found out that you were dating a visually-impaired man?
Some of them wondered at the decision I had made. They tried to stop me but I made up my mind because I had picked interest in him and he was a true man. My friends and family members threatened to abandon me but when I insisted, they left me and I moved on with my sweetheart.

What did you like most about your wedding?
What I liked most is that people contributed a lot of money towards our wedding. Though we never had money, it was good and people liked it. Besides, many people, including religious leaders, attended and we were given gifts. We were also smart. It was a happy moment for me.

Do you sometimes wish he could see you. Your child and many other things?
Yes because he would feel happy because he would be able to see what his child and wife look like. Also, he would be able to see the things I do for him.

What things do you like most about him?
The way he does his things impresses me a lot. Sometimes he does things which are beyond people’s expectations. For example, he can cook, he can preach in church and he is a good counsellor. But above all, he loves me.

What things does he do that you do not like?
At times he takes long to make a decision. His mind can’t be changed easily once he decides on something.

Being jobless, has that affected your marriage?
Yes. We rent the house we live in. At times, we can run broke. That means if we don’t have money, the landlord can chase us away. Because he has no job, this has affected our standards of living. We have to toil in order to get what to eat. It is a really great challenge for us.

Do you ever feel the temptation to leave since he has no job?
No. I never feel the temptation to leave because I know he will get a job by God’s grace. I am patient and comfortable. I always counsel him that God will answer our prayers soon.

Do people still find it strange that you married a visually-impaired man?
Not at all. We have been married for three years and this has surprised many people who think it is strange to marry a blind man.

What advice would you give to a woman who plans to get married to a visually-impaired man or who is already married to one?
The advice I give is that even though someone is disabled, that can not deter you from marrying them. Being blind does not mean that it is the end of the road and that someone cannot be successful. One should not look at the disability but rather the potential one has in making a marriage successful.
Personally when I married Rashid, many people thought I had run mad. I was ridiculed. Interestingly, they have been silenced by our love and the success of our marriage. I would advise women that even the disabled can be successful because God has a plan for them.