Come all ye to my wedding meetings

A group attending a wedding meeting in Kampala recently. These meetings help raise money. PHOTO BY ABUBAKER LUBOWA.

What you need to know:

Are you one of those people who have been struggling to pull crowds to your wedding meetings? May be you have been using the wrong strategies. Well, trying to get friends and family to help fundraise for your wedding requires a bit of thought, as Brian Mutebi finds out.

Unless you last used your mobile phone in the 1980s (if they were there then, anyway), chances are high that you have received a short message like this pop up on your screen: “I, so and so, humbly invite you to the launch of our wedding meeting at 5pm, somewhere on Kampala Road.”

And that is of course just the beginning. Another message will pop up, and then another, including one from people you barely talked to in school.
There will also probably be a special group or page created on social networking sites like Facebook or Whatsapp.

Fundraising meetings
Moses Kukiriza, who chairs several wedding meetings at a church in Kampala, says sending multiple messages is meant to remind people.
“If people are to give you money for your wedding, you have to remind them all the time. That is why people send five or more messages in a week for a single meeting,” he says.

The psychology
The purpose may be to remind people in the hope that they will attend the meeting, or send their contribution, but as Kukiriza observes, there is some psychology involved.
“Giving is a voluntary thing, so you don’t just send messages and expect people to turn up or send you money, no. Your message must not only get into their message inbox, but their mind and heart,” he says. That is why, Kukiriza explains, one will not send messages like “Today come for our meeting and contribute towards our wedding”, but rather write: “Thank you for supporting us. We’re having our second last meeting this week. We humbly invite you to come to the meeting as we seek to raise funds for the items yet to be covered on the budget.”

Held captive?
Does the giver hold the receiver captive? Well, Desmond Okech, a security guard in Kampala shares an experience he had with his boss.
“Besides going around bragging that if it had not been for his efforts, rather his contribution, I wouldn’t have pulled off my wedding, my boss wanted me to do anything, even outside my known duties just because he generously contributed to my wedding.”

So there is a silent scheme in one person generously contributing towards a particular wedding, isn’t there? Ronald Ssegane, who has chaired several wedding meetings in town, says it may not be as direct, but surely there is.
“When someone, especially one who is not married attends your wedding meetings committedly, he is literally saying: ‘I am here for you, you must be there for me someday’. And often people feel indebted to those who attend and contribute towards their wedding.”

Susan Nabweteme, however, disagrees: “I attend friends’ meetings and even contribute money but I never do so in the hope that the person I have given money will contribute to my wedding someday, lest I get disappointed.”
She adds that it is wrong for someone to assume and expect that by contributing to your wedding, you must pay them back.
“The person who will contribute to your wedding may or may not be the person you helped fundraise. Many times God plans it differently,” she says.
Selecting meeting venues

Ashraf Bamwoze, a city wedding planner, says while choosing wedding meeting venues, organisers put into consideration the interests of the people anticipated to attend. Venues that are central, close or easily accessible are preferred.

If, for instance, one anticipates that most of the people in his target group have private vehicles, Bamwoze says, they will choose a venue with ample parking space. And if they know majority of the people use public transport, one will then look for a venue from where it is easy to access public transport.

“It is about making it convenient to attend the meeting,” says Bamwoze. “And if people find the venue accessible, they will have no excuse,” Bamwoze adds.
“How many people do you see getting a venue in Kololo when they know that majority of the people in their target group work in or around Kikuubo? In the same way, it is unlikely that people working in air-conditioned offices in Naguru and Kololo will choose to hold their meetings downtown.”

Some people may also choose to hold the meetings at their homes, places of work, or worship, since afterall, most of the people who attend such meetings are relatives, work colleagues, former schoolmates, and people with shared religious beliefs.
Idah Kyarisiima says: “A meeting at church would, for instance, work best for me, because then I know that after the church service, I will attend the meeting.”

How many are too many?
While some people choose to have as many as 10 meetings, approximately two and a half months; one meeting per week, Bamwoze says the best bet is on having fewer meetings.
“When people know you have two or three meetings, everyone comes for serious business knowing that there is no time to waste. But if there are 10 meetings, the first meetings may not raise as much money because majority of the people might say there is still more time. That is why it is often the last meeting that generates a lot of money in contributions, because people know it is the last meeting.”

Tips on how to fundraise for your wedding

You made all efforts to ensure they came to your wedding meeting. They have. How then do you get the most out of the meeting? The number of those in attendance – big or small, may not matter much but your creativity, persuasion and perhaps friendliness and appeal.
• There is the conventional chairman’s bag every attendee is asked or better stated as kindly, forced to drop in a few notes.

• Auctioning. While this is the most popular means of raising funds at a wedding meeting, with more creativity rather than simply selling the auction item, one can raise more money from the exercise. Four individuals could open up ‘accounts’ on which they ‘deposit’ money. In turn they mobilise others to deposit more money on respective accounts and or reduce their competitors’ accounts. Naturally people like non-aggressive competition so you are likely to raise more money.
• Dedicate a particular meeting for raising money for a specific budget item like food or reception venue. You may consider asking everyone to buy their own plate of food, drink and book their chair.
• The chairman could seek fines from individuals doing ‘unauthorised’ stuff like whispering or in some way disrupting the meeting. Be careful though not to offend them
•Sell something. Since the purpose is to fundraise, sell the item at a higher price than purchase price. Consumables like apple bananas, cake or soda are preferred since meetings are often held late in the evening when people are tired and hungry.
• The couple should never take their friends’ contributions for granted but personally express their gratefulness for the contributions made towards their wedding.

Cost of a wedding
Shs10,000 for filing notice of marriage.
Shs200,000 for celebration of marriage.
Shs25,000 for issuance of marriage certificate.
Shs25,000 for registration of marriage.

Free services
• Assessment of fees.
• Verification of payment receipts from Uganda revenue Authority.
• Display of notice of marriage on notice board.

Source: Uganda Registrations Bureau of Services