I compete with football for my boyfriend’s love

Dear Heart to Heart,my boyfriend and I have been dating for the last one year. I started the relationship aware that he loves watching football. However, lately he leaves me in the house to go watch a match. When I asked him, he said he cannot concentrate while watching a game with me yet before we started dating he would even forego matches to be with me. I sacrifice a lot of things just to be with him but I feel I cannot compete with football anymore yet I do not want to lose him. What can I do?
Catherine

YOUR FEEDBACK

Nicodemas Anthem Dictionary. Sit him down and sort out things or ignore him for sometimes and make him also miss you. Someone may not take you seriously but when you go, they recognise that you were a big part in their life.

Teddie Khush. Relax young woman, there is no football until August, so you will enjoy him. But you should have been used to that by now. Your man is not cheating on you but only watches a match. Make use of your hobby too during that time.

Jonnah Tusasirwe. My man plays football every Thursday from 9pm to 4am, and Sunday the whole day. He goes and comes back and finds me fine. I am used to it. I know every Thursday night and Sunday daytime he is away and that is it. If you cannot put up with yours leave him for someone who can stand him.

Harrie Alicia. Well my other half does the same and we support different teams. Try and be comfortable alone and do things that you like to do as well when he is watching his game. Do not be super glue. Find a life outside that relationship. You cannot be together all the time. I love when he goes to play football for nearly four hours and I have time for myself and most time we watch the games together. Worse if both of our teams are playing against each other. Stop being jealous.

Derrick Muganza. Separating your man from football is like removing his testicles from his scrotal sack. Please let him be or tag along him to the sports bar in your chic jersey for the team he supports. That will make the bond between you stronger.

Patriece Paddy. He does not go to watch football daily, so sort out yourself with him on those days where there are no matches and give him freedom on football days.

Denis Kimbugwe. But he is just a boyfriend not your husband, why are you staying with him? Trial marriage or what? You want to control him even before you are married to him! You are going to lose him because in your trial marriage he will realise you are a control freak. First move out until you get married then you can complain. As far as he is concerned he is single and has a right to go anywhere he wants.

Nabuloli Olivia. I just want to know one thing, don’t you have any hobby? He loves football and I am sure there is something you love. Just try this, like what he loves and endure what he does not. The fact is to share the similarities and respect the differences. After all football is not a human being!

Counsellor says
Evelyn Kharono Lufafa, Ssuubi Medical Centre

Concentrate on other issues

Dear Catherine, there are so many things you must be focusing on other than football. If you concentrate on this, it is going to cause you anxiety and stress. When people get into relationships, it is about making the other partner’s life comfortable and this will not be possible if you nag about his passion. It is a good thing that you knew about this before you started dating.
If you feel insecure, you can ask to go with him but you may not be confortable. He will be watching with his friends and probably a lot of noise and jumping up and down. You will not like such an environment.

If he cares for you, there will be another way he will show his love for you. While he goes to watch the matches, give him the space he needs and keep yourself busy with something else.
Otherwise if you trust him and your communication is good, you do not need to worry. He is a mature person and knows what to do.
Generally, when we fall in love, it is not about changing one’s character but is able to understand who your partner is, accept and live comfortably with him or her because although some character is outgrown, some may not be.

Compiled by Beatrice Nakibuuka