Could I be in love with two women?

The problem
Dear Heart to Heart, I met a woman in May and fell in love with her. We work in different districts. She is 27 and even though I am 19, our age difference wasn’t a hindrance because she is a good woman by many standards. But recently, a workmate started hitting on me. She says she loves me very much and even does actions to prove it. She, however, is not as beautiful or even as well behaved as my girlfriend. Although I don’t want to cheat on my girlfriend, I am beginning to get more attracted to my workmate. What can I do?
Barton

Your solutions
Kintu Moses. That’s not love, it’s temptation. You should keep away from this woman. There is nothing good in betraying your girlfriend by sleeping with another woman. There is nothing good going to come out of the relationship between you and your workmate.

Bonny Nabulya. You have one heart hence it is hard to love two people. There is infatuation with one of them. Take a vacation from both off them. Your heart will show you the way. The one whom you will think of most is the one you love because infatuation fades with time.

Daniel Ashmore. Don’t fall in love with two women. You can’t leave your first woman because you are getting tempted.

Ian Calvin Waiswa. If you think you love two people, then that’s not love but lust. When you fall in love, you accept the good and bad you are “stuck” with. You realise it’s never perfect! It’s like you have found family you never knew you had (even when you see the fault the first thought is to sort it out together not to point fingers). That’s when you know you have found love.

Sarah Arach. Love only the person your heart belongs to. If you allow a woman to con you, you won’t enjoy that relationship and eventually you will have a bitter separation because you are not contented with your partner.

Kasule Geoffrey. Grow up son. Tell your workmate that you have a woman. Stick to your well-behaved girlfriend.

Mayanja Daniel. Your heart doesn’t belong to your workmate that’s why she’s the one trying to prove her love to you. Listen to your inner heart. Don’t cheat on the one you love. You may end up addicted to your workmate and lose your love.

Counsellor Ali Male, head of conselling YWCA Uganda says

Dear Barton, it is psychologically visible that you are struggling with feelings of intentions to get a partner. At 19 years, you are a young adult that must make good decisions regarding your relationship. These are normal feelings that if handled well could result in physical and emotional growth.
However, you need to set self-restraints in relationships because you will never be able to finish all the beauties of this world. Select your benchmarks for choosing your love get committed to them and focus wisely.
Create an end picture of how you want to be in your love, follow your heart and conscience. Remember that the principles of any relationship are communication, commitment, growth, focus, understanding and love. Compiled by Beatrice Nakibuuka

Next week’s problem

Dear Heart to Heart, My girlfriend and I had been dating for a year when she started acting strange. First she would claim she was busy each time I called her on phone for about five months. She would seem unhappy yet whenever I asked what the matter was, she would say all was well. I kept pleading with her until one month later when she told me openly to stay away from her. But now she is pleading with me to allow her back. Why had she rejected me in the first place? Should I reject her proposal?
James