Heart to Heart

Cracking the bad boy code on how they get the good girls

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By Mike Ssegawa

Posted  Thursday, January 30  2014 at  02:00
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It’s disturbing that bad boys often end up with the prettiest girls. You ask yourself how someone with unkempt dreadlocks can afford to win over a beautiful woman. Guess the girls have better answers to that. But I still don’t get how a man who visits the bathroom as rarely as Mama Fina visits the church makes his way into your heart, the beast in him coming out once in a while to batter such a beautiful body. A body you denied a decent man to touch! Ebintu bizibu!

It’s sad to imagine that a bad boy has the audacity to abandon Harriet after treating her like junk and pick up Juliana in no time, dating her alongside Anita. Harriet returns days later to beg to return into his arms.

The debate of the “beauty and the beast” has dragged on for years, so I won’t be the one to resolve it. But I will share with you what bad boys have that the gentlemen have in less quantities. May be then you can save our sisters.
In 2005, I rented a house in Kansanga, just after graduating from campus. The tenants in my neighbourhood kept a close watch, keeping track of what happens in their neighbours’ lives.
I had a namesake but I never addressed him by his name – Michael, because he was a shame to other name-bearers. FYI: The name Michael means “Who is like God”.

But Michael was “who is like Lucifer”. He worked as a manager at a casino in Kabalagala, meaning he retired to his two-roomed apartment late, and left for work late in the afternoon. His schedule was like that of a prostitute. He was a ‘hooker’ because every evening, Michael wound up with a girl in his bed.
Every mother in the neighbourhood wished he never got to meet their daughter. He was a compulsive sex maniac who I thought never enjoyed sex – but did it because he had to. Sad!
Rose was his “steady” girlfriend in case he had no catch. Rose was in her final year at Makerere University. She was innocently beautiful. She deserved better.

Whenever she visited, he was not there. When she called, he would ask her to wait outside the apartment. If she requested to find him at work, he declined. She would sit there, waiting for him until he returned in the wee hours of the night.
Other times, Rose would visit when Michael was inside the house with another woman. She would knock, and he would tell her he didn’t expect her. He would then tell her to return later because he was resting. She would go and come back. She loved Michael.

One day when she caught him with a woman in bed, she cried, cursed and promised never to return. She lied.
Before a month went by, I saw Rose hand-in -hand with Michael. I concluded she was a broke girl and Michael was the answer to her financial troubles. I later realised that she came from a wealthy family, and sometimes provided for Michael’s needs. Oh my! I hated to see Rose going through such humiliation.
Talking to Michael years later, he confessed that he was a sex addict. But he added that there was something about him that pulled the girls.

“I am not afraid to lose or win a woman. I can approach anyone irrespective of their class,” he said. “Women admire courageous men.” Confidence!

Like a true gambler, Michael had also learnt what gamblers and players have in common – hope that the next attempt will be successful. But the bottom-line, Michael told me, is what brings the customer (read the girl) back - Leave her satisfied.
Here’s the code guys: Confidence, hope and good sex.

mssegawa@ke.nationmedia.com