Thursday July 17 2014

Dating :Protect your sisters, but please relax!

By Eugene Mugisha

I have nothing wrong with guys being protective of their sisters. That is natural, every man has a problem with another man dating his sister and I haven’t met a single man, myself included, who happily gives up his sisters to the wolves, worse if it is his only sister. But, we have to face the facts; sisters are meant to be dated by men, just like you date another man’s sister. Every civilised man knows this and makes peace with it. But the brother of the girl I am dating does not seem to be among the civilised. First, he is a giant, physically, and uses that to bully and brawl through everything.

The first time I met him, he was lifting another man by the T-shirt because this man had spilled his drink. This man was my friend, and we asked this giant to please put the man down, and we would buy him another drink, or two. Instead, the giant found it more satisfying to throw the other man across the room, breaking his leg in the process. And there was nothing I could do about it because the man was twice my size, and he was clearly waiting for me to make a move so he could break my legs too. You don’t forget a guy like that. When I saw him again, I was being introduced to as his sister’s boyfriend. He took one look at me and said he did not like me and asked me to stay away from his sister. Not liking me was understandable and useless information; I wasn’t aspiring for his affection.

But to stay away from his sister was something else. Immediately after he left, I interrogated her how she could withhold such vital information from me; we were in a relationship! How could she neglect to inform me that she had a lunatic over-sized brother who seemed to always be in a fighting mood.

That was not something anyone brings up in a relationship. But she wasn’t ready to budge. She asked me exactly how she should have mentioned it; “By the way, since we are now dating, watch out for my giant, possibly insane brother”? She had a point, but I wasn’t ready to let it go.

I was endangering myself by dating her. I guess I was just being cowardly, but that guy wasn’t someone to reason with. And, I had no idea why he did not like me. But she cleared that for me. He does not like every guy she has dated. In fact, he had scared off every one of them, claiming she was still too young to be dating. But, this is a girl in her 20s.
In a resolved way, she told me she would understand if I left. And I could tell she was in a way already letting me go. I would join the list of men her brother had scared off.

But, it is not pride that made me decide to stay; it was her. I then made a very careless and dangerous statement; that her brother does not scare me, and I will stay with her no matter what. I meant that I would try to withstand whatever evil her brother threw my way.

We might break up, but it would not be because of her brother. She looked at me with that look that said; I wasn’t the first to make such a grand promise. Well I might not have been the first, but I had every intention of seeing it through.