Dating mares: I got unlucky online

I had been on Badoo, a popular dating, or rather mate-searching site. Yes. You sign in and could find your soul mate. Isn’t that the reason as to why most of us are there? As fate usually has it, that did not happen to me. I got unlucky.

Eric, a literally handsome, young man, as his profile and photo presented, seemed to be there for different reasons. Badoo forces you to break the ice. That’s the only way the speedometer for getting your match starts reading. I was glad Eric did. The shy me would not come out of the closet. My profile reads thus –
Status: Single.
Reason: looking for new friends
I was not going to suddenly state otherwise to the seemingly inquisitive Eric. “Most of the work I do involves networking. And this is one way to do it,” he had stated.
I was sure he did not want a relationship. This is what I was dying to have. Oh how karma can play around! I had recently rejected a Mukiga. We met on the same site. He was handsome too, and his profile read learned. We met at Shoprite, Nakawa a month later. David was his profile’s opposite. He was young, immature and a senior four drop out as he later confessed. Goodness! What did I do to deserve this? He was not a banker. He was operating a stationery shop on Nasser Road. Why didn’t I listen to Ras Darte? David is team mafisi or their head.

Luck was on my side with Eric though. He did not cease to chat with me. We took the conversation to WhatsApp. He wanted to know how I was doing, and sent me pictures of himself almost daily. He always asked how I was dressed, where I was, what time I was leaving work and most importantly if I was free so we could meet for dinner in Ntinda. Of course, this was confirmed effortlessly.
He was a sweeter soul and more free-spirited physically than he was on Badoo or WhatsApp. Clad in a black suit and red bow tie, I was certain he wasn’t dressed just for the dinner. Eric is a generally a dapper chap, my match. I was a heartbeat away from finding my soul mate.

Months later, he proposed we meet at his apartment in Kyebando, a suburb on Gayaza road. I wasn’t sure he only wanted to see me like he had suggested, so, I declined. He was mad at me and said he had been “charging” all day to have me and all I could say was ‘No’. Okay, I had to run for my life. Eric was a more sophisticated part of the mafisi team.

Weeks ago, tabloids were asking what singer Winnie Nwagi meant when she said she wanted a man who was not interested in sex. Like me, here is what she meant- sex shouldn’t be his priority.

Consequently, I gave the dating sites a break. I had to heal. It had been a series of disappointments and sex pests coming clean. After narrating my ordeal to my gossip mate, Maryanne, she was quick to reply. “What on earth were you doing on Badoo?” she asked. “You are a beautiful girl and any man in his right senses would want to date you. Men on Badoo just want sex. I was there for a day and left. The difference is, that same day I got someone, my current fiancé.”

“Well, guess I’m unlucky then,” I muttered.
Nevertheless, Maryanne was quick to offer a solution. “Stop brooding,” she said, “Join Tinder. It is better.” Maryanne’s friend, Jacky had been there. She had found herself a 32-year-old CEO for a media company in Nairobi. The couple is committed and could walk down the aisle anytime.

Thrilled by Jacky’s experience, I gullibly fell for Maryanne’s solution. Being smart phone literate, I immediately installed Tinder on my Samsung galaxy. Tinder is different, and fun too. It requires very short profiles, a photo, a short tagline, your profession and your strongest point. Here, the majority want to hook up.

A handful, like Eric claimed, want meaningful networks.
My first experience was quite memorable. Tinder is all about swiping faces. A less impressive face is trashed by swiping and a cute one is liked by clicking till your match comes along. Yes. Tinder says your match. It became my hobby then for my lonely apartment life. I mean swiping was really easy. Baby Jack would unconsciously do it if he got hold of your phone.

I had a number of matches. The beauty about this is that I could chat with 10 of them at a go. And then Andre a mzungu came along. Yes, it was a match and we started chatting right away. My childhood dream of dating a white was seemingly coming to fruition. I ignored all other chats and concentrated on the charming Andre.

The conversations went on, on different platforms and before I knew it, we were skyping, whatsapping and video chatting on IMO. I spent the most part of the nights awake, waiting for Andre’s calls. He always wanted to chat in the night. He said it was because he left his work place late and was miles away from his phone all day. I believed him.

As days went by, during the intense video chats, I could tell that Andre was concentrating on something else beneath his laptop. “What’s that you are doing?” I asked the first time, out of curiosity. He was quick to say it was nothing. ‘I am just checking my mails on my phone,” he always replied. My inquiries fell on deaf ears. He seemed busy doing something. I could barely see his face anymore. I got bored and stopped picking his calls.

After a week of pleading, he called and I picked up the call. I had missed him. It was evident on my beaming face. I was excited. I could not stop blushing. We talked for close to two hours. The whole time, he kept eye contact and was constantly blowing me kisses. It was amazing. I was falling in love. Little by little. When he said he loved me, I instantly replied I loved him back and much more.

Suddenly, Andre went back to his vice. He was at it again. Looking down. I was furious. I insisted I wanted to know what he was doing or would block him immediately. He begged me and made me promise I was not going to stop talking to him after he told me the truth. Out of anxiety, I agreed to his terms. He moved the laptop downwards for me to see.

What a sight! Shockingly, he was playing with his stuff. Yes, he had been doing this all along. I hung up. I could not take it anymore. I had been unlucky again. I uninstalled Tinder and I am not online-searching.