Don’t die like a ninja, talk to someone
The boss was a disturbed man and the problem is that he didn’t know it. Last year, his wife of 10 years died. Shortly after, one of his homosexual sons came out of the closet.
He was ridiculed by his peers for what they called failed parenting. When his wife died, he took only one day off work and was back to business as usual.
He carried on with life as if nothing had happened. Even when his son started wearing pink shoes, a blond wig, calling himself Amanda and dancing at a dingy nightclub in Nakulabye, he didn’t show any sign of breaking down. He was a rock solid African man or so we thought!
Then one day, the rock came tumbling down. It was Wednesday and clients were streaming in steadily.
By mid-day, we had about 60 people waiting to see the doctor, my boss.
He as usual was fast and didn’t seem overwhelmed by the numbers. After attending to a woman with acute gonorrhea, he walked out of his room, went straight to the waiting room, took off his coat, shoes and shirt, folded them neatly, bid us all a good day and with a big smile stepped out into the street.
For about five minutes, we were all dumbfounded, we didn’t understand what was going on. We stood there with open mouths like stooges. A little boy who was waiting in line with his mother said, “The doctor has snakes in his head, he is mad.”
Long story short, the boss was committed to a mental institution where he was treated for major depression. You see, he had stored up so much pain, anger, frustration, heartbreak and despair.
People in Uganda think that shrinks or psychiatrists are a waste of time.
Whenever one speaks of counsellors, they think it’s for people with “loose wires”. Many offices have a counsellor but employees look at the concept as a joke.
They think walking up to a counsellor and telling what ails them is weird, weak and un-African. But here is the truth, if you have a normal life, you will encounter some really harsh things, and brushing them aside or putting on the best smile your toothpaste brushed teeth can master will not take the harshness away.
A problem shared is a problem solved. Why walk around with tonnes of issues bubbling on the inside of you.
If you think talking to a counsellor or psychiatrist is a sign of weakness, then find someone else you can talk to, someone you trust. Because you see, when you share with the wrong party, then you are adding on to your load of problems.
By wrong party I mean the friend whose tongue and teeth itch uncontrollably if they don’t tell anyone about how you told them that your man has eyes for the housemaid, the chick at the office, and the curvy traffic officer at the Kabira Country Club junction in Bukoto or how you caught your husband making out with his golf ball boy.
Now, talking to someone does not mean they will give you solutions to what ails you; however it is a start on the journey to wellness. Don’t die like a ninja, talk to someone!
If you don’t trust anyone, at least talk to the wall, although that might earn you your own little room in a mental institution.
