Each relationship has a different story - Seanice

Briefly introduce yourself...
I am a 34-year-old African girl born in Arusha, Tanzania to Perpetua Apio and Clifford Kacungira from Soroti and Ibanda.
I have been lucky to travel around the world.
I am a blessed mother of one perfect little boy called Aarinade, lucky wife to Fabian Adeoye Lojede and a very proud sister to all my very talented siblings.

When and how did you two meet?
We met roughly six years ago at a work conference in Johannesburg.

How did chemistry develop between you two?
We talked a lot. We got to know each other as people, our individual principles, values, goals, fears and ambitions.

How did your husband fit in the picture and aspirations of the man you had longed for?
I longed for a man who really knew who he was.
This was essential for me because I wanted a man who was intelligent but grounded, a man whose children I would be proud to bear, one who wouldn’t take any disrespect or nonsense but still have a loving and caring heart.
One who knew and respected his African-ness so my children would always be proud of their heritage, and one who was complementary to my hard-nosed and ambitious self and who would always tell me the truth.
I may not always like what my husband has to say but I have always appreciated him because he makes me better and I like to think that I do the same for him.

Why did you go to Nigeria and not look around home for love?
I didn’t go looking for love in Nigeria seeing as my husband lives and works in South Africa. Ironically it’s when you stop looking that you find love.
You have to work on yourself so that when it does find you, you are someone worth finding.

Where do you live as a couple?
Unfortunately, for now we are still in-between homes, I am in Lagos, Nigeria because Blu Flamingo as a business is expanding and he is in Johannesburg.
He has two major films coming up and a new series.
But from next year, we will be living in Johannesburg as our son will be of school-going age.

How is parenting?
Parenting is absolutely amazing. I know they say you can never fully prepare for the experience but I realised I had really been wanting to be a parent for a long time.
My family, like most people, is my life, my purpose. I love who I am when I am with them.

What are the pillars upon which your relationship stands?
Time for each other just the two of us, but also time for ourselves, honesty, investment of time and energy in our marriage and communication especially when it’s hard.
Realistic expectations of each other since we are human and thus prone to error.

What advice can you share about relationships or marriage per se?
I am not sure I am an expert on marriage having been married only a year and a half, but if both your hearts are in the right place and you are really invested and give a damn, you should be okay.
Forget all this rubbishy advice people give you. As John Legend sang ‘nobody really knows’, each marriage is unique and each relationship has a different story arc. Just do you and be true.

His story

About Fabian Lojede
Fabian Adeoye Lojede is internationally known for his unforgettable role as Bola Abayomi in Jacob’s Cross, a successful run on Canal Plus. In the USA he has been invited twice as a celebrity guest to the bi–annual Black Theatre Festival. He has won rave reviews for his role in Man On Ground; a film he also co-produced.

What was your first impression of Seanice?
Hot and smart.
What traits led you into falling in love with her?
Her integrity and humility.

What was your dating experience like?
It was very honest and intense.
Had you been to Uganda before you dated Seanice?
Yes, to shoot a reality show.
When and how do you spend your quality time?
At home watching movies, discussing life issues, books and films
How did Seanice change your understanding of love?
So many ways. Love is not a sprint, that’s infatuation. It’s a bit like wine gets better and better with time. And like wine, you must have the patience to let it mature to perfection. True love is the most patient and understanding force of nature, something I didn’t really have before.
How is parenting?
It is the most beautiful experience and nothing is greater than doing it besides someone you love. It is also scary as you are constantly thinking of their future and the world you will leave for them.

What makes or fails a relationship?
I am not sure there is one answer to that. People’s circumstances and values, both cultural and social are different and I think this informs every relationship. Personally, I think mutual respect and shared life values are the most important to me.

Where do you see each other in the next decade?
With a 10-year vintage, love will mature with new flavours. The day we stop growing is the day we die so I want my relationship to grow every day.