Failed thrice at love but still willing to try

What you need to know:

  • I was not successful last year.
  • I failed to hold down a relationship, whether it was because of me, or those that I had intentions for, it was not a good year for me.

Every end of year, I look back at the things that have happened to me - and those I have happened to - and try to assess my progress, or regress. This is a dating column, so I am not going to bore you with my financial stories, or the wave-like behaviour of my bank account. No, I will tell you about my love life or lack of.

Allow me to rephrase that; I will talk about dating matters, matters of the heart. And I will immediately state that I was not successful last year. I failed to hold down a relationship, whether it was because of me, or those that I had intentions for, it was not a good year for me.

For the first quarter, things were looking up mostly because of a certain young woman I had met at the close of last year. We had a good run for about four months, and I was optimistic, until I found out that this woman was a professional actress; and was putting on a show for me, she was not who she claimed to be.

I found this out the day she took money from my wallet and blamed it on the house maid; the same house maid who had never lifted even loose change from my laundry for more than two years. She had to go. I had actually liked her, but I could not tolerate a thief. A lying thief at that who saw no problem in making a poor maid lose her job for a crime she did not commit.

I run her out of my life.
For the next three months, I was back to my single state. I was not exactly in a rush to jump back into the dating game. I was enjoying my freedom way too much. Plus, there was this girl I was kind of seeing, but we were not really into a relationship.

This worked fine for me, and seemed to suit her as well. At least for the first two months. Then feelings came in, and one day she asked me the question, ‘what are we?’. I had no immediate answer for her, which seemed to disappoint her. For the next two weeks, she was moody, she did not want to talk to me. In a moment of haste, I told her we were dating, that I considered her my girl, we were going steady.

I should have thought this through carefully before uttering those words carelessly because instead of things becoming better, they became worse. She became very jealous, keeping track of my whereabouts 24/7, asking me who I was with all the time, even listening in to my phone calls.

I found myself in yet another relationship, but not with the bubbly girl I had thought her to be. This one was suffocating me. When I told her about it, her response was, ‘we are in a relationship, we are accountable to each other’. But that was not being accountable, that was ownership.

I needed to extricate myself from that relationship quickly. I stopped talking to her, started avoiding her, hoping she would get the point. But in response, she decided to camp at my place. For the next three months, I was under siege. Finally I could not take it any longer. I told her it was over, and went to the village for a week as she sorted her feelings. By the time I came back, she was so mad at me she did not want to talk to me. Which suited me just fine.
That was the last time I attempted to get into a relationship. From a thieving lying selfish girl to a slave driver, I did not think I could try again with better luck. I resolved myself to a loveless year.

But, as if it happens in cycles, at the start of December, I met another sweet sweet girl, the same thing that happened last year. I hope this one does not turn out to be something even worse than a thief. I am wary of December girls.