Getting along with a spouse acting intimate scenes

Bargotte Birabwa is recently divorced but dating again. Her dilemma was the knowledge that her new boyfriend was cast in an upcoming TV series, where he acts as a ‘player’. “He came to talk to me about it and I froze. But I did not want to express my worry because his job brings food to the table,” she says.

In his video Everywhere I go, Ugandans especially those on social media descended on Bebe Cool disapproving of the way he kissed another girl yet he is married to Zuena Kirema. Zuena, however, defended her husband and despite continued social media fans’ rants, the couple and their relationship remains intact at least in the eyes of the public.

With film, actors are equally thrust into positions where they are required to execute roles with public display of affection (PDA). Some might require a little more than just kissing. But this is tasking for their real life spouses/partners.

Only recently, NTV’s Second Chance-Uganda, screened romantic scenes between Saava (Roger Mugisha) and Isabel (Stellah Nantumbwe). According to Nantumbwe, the kissing scenes were edited to “what would be publically acceptable” (a second of nearly inexistent). Well, also owing to Uganda’s communications regulations.

Blame public criticism
Nantumbwe, who is also a former beauty queen and Big Brother Africa contestant, says, “The first time on screen was scary, of course, seeing that the industry may not be ready to embrace PDA. However, I aim on taking on roles that depict real life. There is no morality attached to what we do. it is a job, you are paid to paint a picture of what is and what isn’t.”

Mugisha (Saava) says, “I got anxious about the kissing scenes, but I cannot say I was afraid. The execution was fast lived so I did not get the luxury of indulging deeply.”

Public perception aside, execution is another daunting task that requires actors and video vixens to psychologically prepare for these scenes. “I ate a lot of apples to make sure the kiss feels as good as it does in my head. The first time it happens, it is unearthing. The second time, not so much. Eventually, it becomes more about when and how to start the romantic scene,” Nantumbwe shares.

The angle matters
Different directors shoot these scenes differently. They will tell you some kisses are shot without lips getting into contact but are made to look as real as possible because of the angles of the camera. Others are shot with real contact to create realities, and some may be simple quick kisses that build the illusion.

“What matters and immediately crosses my mind is how perfect and passionate I can do it. How much can I convince my audience? It would be frightening to execute if my ‘partner’ was not giving it her best because there would be no reason to waste efforts trying to convince the viewer that it really happened yet it does not seem real,” explains actor and model, Shebbe Khan.

Talk to your partner
Fortunately, Mugisha says, “It is not a problem to my spouse, or maybe to my relatives.” In fact, he echoes the reason a prominent actor declined commenting on the matter. Her family had issues moving on from an intimate scene she shot for a popular feature film.

“Family is quick to judge and they forget that film, theatre and music videos require realities to be created. If a couple in a film is to depict love, the contemporary demands kissing as a sign of love and affection. Unless, of course, your family members want to argue that Ugandans do not kiss in real life!” Mugisha states.

For Birabwa, the fact that her boyfriend spoke to her about it made her feel more cared about. “Talk about it as partners. Understand that this is just like any other job.”

Ahead of his kissing scenes with Angella in Second Chance, Shebbe, who plays Tony, also prepared his spouse. “To me, family is everything and it comes first. so my spouse knows about such scenes before I can actually do it. It is simply out of respect. You know there is a difference between fear and respect. Out of respect, I told her about everything and went ahead and told her how it is done,” he reveals.

Dealing with criticism
Shaira Nambatya, an actress, describes the complexity of Ugandan audiences. “Ugandans say they do not watch Ugandan films because ‘we do not act real’. When we do, they say ‘we are immoral’. What is immoral about kissing? Don’t you kiss your spouses?”

Indeed, Nantumbwe echoes the argument saying, “A lot of people hate looking into the mirror and seeing what they truly do, or are... They imagine that if no one sees it, it never happened. A lot of people do worse behind closed doors but will be the first to condemn you.”

She adds: “Acting romantic scenes helped me understand why people in the industry marry and date those in the same industry. You save yourselves the constant reassurance speeches and conversations about infidelity simply because you pulled off an “immoral” scene.”

times are, however, changing and more people are beginning to appreciate the difference between acting and real life.

Communication is key solution

Shallon Bianca, actress/musician
“My husband knows I am acting, so, he knows it is a game from a script to action. However, I let him know what happens on set to make him more comfortable. If you allow me to act, then you should not restrict me.”
Roger Mugisha, actor
“Actors with public display of affection roles need to talk about it freely with their spouses and where possible, engage the cast members concerned.”
Shebbe Khan, actor/model
“I have always made my relationship with workmates clear to her, and I keep it that way. I never leave her behind when I go hanging out with them. It makes her comfortable with them and our work environment. So, my acting has never been a problem to her.”

Couples that met on set

Brad Pit and Angelina Jolie.>> Hollywood’s recently divorced couple are another formidable example who started a romantic relationship married after acting a scene together in Mr & Mrs Smith.

The Nabwisos.>> (Matthew and Eleanor) who got married after meeting on The Hostel set as university lovers Gilo and Hope something they transferred into real life!