Thursday July 5 2018

How do I tell him I want to be more than friends?

How do tell him want to be more friends

Take more time to observe his character to make sure he has the qualities you need in a husband and not just the obsession. COURTESY PHOTO 

By Beatrice Nakibuuka

Dear Heart to Heart, I am in love with a friend though I have not disclosed it to him. I can no longer control my feelings but I fear to make the first move. Although he has on several occasions promised to take me out on a date, he has not yet fulfilled his promises. I feel he is taking too long yet I cannot put him on pressure because he might discover that I have feelings for him. Should I tell him? Diana

Peter Bazibu. There is nothing wrong with you telling him how you feel. Gone are the days when the proposal had to come from men only. I want to tell you, he is interested but shying away thinking it might spoil the friendship you have. Let him know how you feel.

Muyama Bridget Martha. He might have an idea but he is second guessing himself. When you have been friends for long, he might think that each signal you send is harmless. Push your boundaries a little when it comes to things you discuss. It will provide some insight.

Ddumba Hakim. Just keep calm and let him make the first move. In the meantime, show him subtle signs that you are falling in love with him.

Prince Nkoola Herbert Wairagara Jr. Start a conversation on relationships with him then you will know what he is thinking in terms of his love life.
David Lubega. Gone are the days when women sat on their haunches to wait for men to make a move. Today, women are liberated and it is not satanic to be obvious in your desires. If he is a decent man, he will tell you the truth. As you patiently wait for him to gather courage to open up, a smarter woman will tell him how she feels and he will leave you for her. Hit the iron when it is still hot.

Christine Rose. Based on your knowledge of your best friend’s life, consider the type of relationship he would like to engage in right now. Did they just go through a breakup and need a rebound? Are they dating multiple people and playing the field? Have they mentioned wanting to start something more serious? Consider whether or not their expectations of the future properly match yours

Jonnah Tusasirwe. Tell him before a sharp woman comes and take him away. He will shy away but will later come around if at all he also likes you.
Blessed Sandie. Do not dare tell him how you feel because he will run from you. Men sometimes fear women who are too staright forward especially when it comes to love. Be the best friend you can be and wait for him to make the first move.

Ecun Giftson. Sometimes the things we did not do are the things we regret the most. Tell him because it is not your fault that you like him and neither is it a crime.

David Mukasa. If the foundation of the friendship is solid it will not crumble, and you should go ahead and confess. If he is truly your friend, he will understand. It will be awkward for a few days, and even if you come to find the attraction is not mutual, you will find you can still be friends. The best-case scenario; the feeling is mutual.

Peter Kanene. If you do not think your friendship will bounce back or are not sure you can handle the rejection, then you should probably keep your mouth shut for the time being. Distance yourself from him to help you cope.

Jane Rose. When you are dealing with your friend, you have to make sure that he knows. Even if it does not work out, you will still be friends. That reassurance will absolutely seal the deal if he feels the same way about you. Make sure that he knows that nothing is going to get messed up if you two are together.

Paul Woods. When you are listening to your friend, you want to make sure that you are paying attention to everything that they are saying. Whether they are just telling you a story or they are being serious. This will absolutely prove that you not only know him better than anyone, but that you two are perfect together.

Innocent Segawa. A man’s friends are the key to his heart. He will tell them everything. If you are really good friends with a few of his friends, maybe ask them what they think about you two trying to get together. They will be the best people to give you advice on what he thinks about you and whether he has mentioned having feelings for you to them.

Carol Mwenda. If you have not tried flirting with your friend yet, why not try that first? That way you can actually see how he responds to it and see if he flirts back. This is a great way to test the waters of your friendship.

Ccounsellor’s say> Evelyn Kharono Lufafa, counsellor at Ssuubi Medical Centre
Do not act Desperate

Dear Diana, many girls get this kind of feeling and surely like you, they do not know what to do. Be careful in the first place not to use passion to judge your feelings.

It is important for you to separate the two as emotions are usually short lived. You can do the good formal things such as keeping communication open the more you talk the more you get to understand how your friend feels about you.

Yes the African culture limits the female to be the first to make a proposal but you can be tactical by asking about the direction or future of the relationship depending on how long you have been friends. It is indeed important not to put him under pressure as this will show your despair and lack of self-control.

Take more time to observe his character to make sure he has the qualities you need in a husband and not just the obsession. During this time of observing and learning your friend, find things that make you busy so that you are not obsessed to make you make an informed decision.