How to support a bed-wetting spouse

Maureen has been married to very quarrelsome Bob for three years now. The problem in their marriage however, is not his quarrelling but his bed-wetting. She says that even if he is unappreciative of her efforts to support him in all he does, she is tired of him peeing on her. What even hurts her most is while they were dating he never opened up about that problem. I can’t begin to imagine what this woman goes through everyday. Having to put out the mattress in the sun every morning, then waking up soaked in urine everyday because as her husband, he loves sleeping next to her. I hope her husband soon realises how hard it is for her to put up with all his issues. If you are in a similar position, these tips might be of help to you:
1. Be understanding. It’s not easy for anyone, especially an adult to live with a bed-wetting condition, so it might explain why Bob is quarrelsome. The battle he fights within makes it hard for him to accept that you can love him the way he is. So it’s very important that you focus on the things that make him tick as you both try to find a permanent solution.
2. Talk and listen to your partner. It’s definitely a hard situation for both of you; you who has to hang a wet mattress everyday but also hard for that person who goes to sleep on tension everyday. It would be nice for you to keep assuring them that you do not judge them and even when you fight, try not to bring it up.
3. Pray for your partner. Sometimes we can’t explain the challenges we face in our marriage but God knows and has the answers. So whatever is causing the bed-wetting whether spiritual or medical can be dealt with if you pray.
4. Visit a doctor. My problem with doctors is that they will always find an explanation for everything even where they may not have a solution. But I would still encourage you to go see a doctor together. Maybe there is something that can be done medically to help your husband. After talking to Dr Isaac Mukitale of Genesis Clinic, I have been assured you can be helped.
5. Set an alarm. Traditionally they say adults who bed-wet usually do it while dreaming. Your partner could be one of those who dream they are using the washroom, only to wake up in a wet bed. If that’s the case, try setting an alarm to wake them up every three hours. The same way you would help a bed-wetting child. Your partner is always your first baby after all.
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