Thursday September 7 2017

I denied my friends for a girl

By Eugene Mugisha

You know those men that suddenly become comedians when your girl comes around? Yeah, I have two of those as my friends. On normal days, they are barely interesting enough to keep one from dozing. It is even worse when a girl comes around but they are not interested.
But, let a girl come around and she piques their interest, then suddenly they are outdoing themselves to make wise cracks. Seriously, I am not hating on these fellas, they are simply not that funny. The only reason I stick with them is because I have known them for ages. I am not friends with them because of their ability to entertain me. So, I do not expect them to crack me up or anything when we meet. We just have some drinks, and each one goes their way.
So you can imagine when one day, a girl who I had designs on decided to come join us that evening. Out of the blue, she called me, asked me where I was, and just like that, asked if she could join me. She did not even ask if I could pick her up. She did not even ask who I was with, and I did not volunteer the information.
The moment she walked in, the two men who had been sitting in a slouching after-work-position suddenly straightened up. And there were smiles allover, as each in his best imitation of a gentleman, greeted her and offered her his seat. They beat me to it. She took one of the men’s seat which gave him an excuse to bring another and squeeze in right next to her, and finally, I had the chance of asking her how she was doing.
We talked for a few minutes before I realised that the two men were very attentively following our discussion. Noticing this, I decided to ignore them. But they were not ready to reciprocate and ignore us. One of them chipped in, offering her a drink. I realised I actually had not offered her a drink. She smiled at him, and asked for a cocktail which the other one repeated to the barman very suavely, yet the barman had heard her.
We were seated at the bar, right in front of the barman. The drink came. The one who had offered the drink used the excuse to start a conversation with her.
Getting the cue, the other one joined in. Before I knew it, the two men had edged me out, and were out-competing each other to impress the girl with their jokes and smooth talk. To me, it was not smooth talk. It was just rusty vibes of two men who do not get enough female attention and are trying to out-compete each other on who was funniest, forgetting that the girl was not even there to see any of them.
After some time, I got tired of the whole thing and told them that the girl and I were leaving. They nearly ‘killed’ me; objecting loudly, they insisted on how the girl was having fun, and how if I wanted to go, I could as well go alone since I had come alone anyway.
They would take care of her. I laughed. And asked for the bill; paid for my drinks and her cocktail. And then told her I was leaving. Well, it was her choice to make. She did not even think twice, she hopped off the bar stool and off we walked, without even a backward look.
I could hear them cursing me silently, but what made my day was when we reached outside and she said, “Phew, thank you. I was just about to leave. Who are those jokers and how do you even know them?” Laughing, I said, “I just met them in fact. One of them works for a company we do business with. I was just hanging with them for business.” And just like that, I denied my very old friends.