I don’t know if she’s my girl

The problem
Dear Heart to Heart, I was in a relationship for a year and a half until January. I was heartbroken and only resumed dating three months later. I recently started dating one of my friends and she makes me happy. I give her financial help when she asks. We do things couples do and we have made love once. However, I don’t know if I am right to call her my girlfriend because we have never talked about it. We address each other with endearments and she has introduced me to her best friend. I fear talking to her about our situation because she could be taking me as a friend yet I think we are an item. I do not want to be heartbroken for the second time. What should I do?
-JK
Your solutions

Okwera Denish: You are in a toilet and still ask what is smelling? You are breaking her heart by delaying to tell her that she is more than a friend.

Opany Elizabeth: Just take her as your friend and not a girlfriend until you figure out your relationship.
Munguamani Faraday: Just hit the nail on the head before someone else snatches her from you by telling her. What is so difficult for you to say to her?

Pretty Jeczamar: I suggest you ask her. Better to know what your situation is, so you will not keep on expecting that she is yours.

Kibuuka Derick: My brother, talk your heart out before it is late. I know you fear being heartbroken but that is the only way.

Arindabantu Bensoni: Tell her while it is still early. Love grows like a plantation, and you will be more heartbroken if you tell her and she turns you down. The earlier the better.

Kwikiriza Tom: Try discussing your feelings with her, you may get surprised when you find out she has been waiting for you to propose to her and take your relationship to another level.

Colline Sandra: Do the right thing. If you think she is the one who can make you happy, then go ahead and tell her your feelings. You never know she might have the same feelings for you.

Semakula Yusuf: Be man enough; sit down and talk at length one on one about your “situationship” like adults and friends. Whatever the outcome, whether it is good news or bad news for you, it won’t be the end of the world.

Shiv Kun: Open up and tell her what you really want her to be, because she may be taken by someone else, seeing you call yourselves friends.

Li Yan: There is only one way to find out, and that is by talking about it. You might be surprised when you find out that you are not the only one feeling like that. She might be feeling the same. Either way, whether you are scared of facing the truth or not, you have to face it anyway to help you know where you both stand with each other, and help you move on in case it is not what you expected.

Maac Ma: You can never get further unless you risk being hurt again. Get the truth and it will set you free. No matter how long you avoid it, it will one time come out. The earlier the better.

Annet Elizabeth: Leave things the way they are and just keep having fun together. It will all get in place naturally, after all it has only been four months. Give it time.

Johns Moses: You have made love once and you still put yourself in the ‘just friends’ zone? Come on young man, you are being paranoid or you do not love her. Put the past behind you and focus on the present. You can only learn from history, but you do not need to live in it.
Phoebe Turigye: What kind of relationship is that? How do you get yourself involved in a sexual act without first defining your relationship? Is it one of these useless “friends with benefits” nonsense? My friend, sit with your friend and clearly define your friendship and its boundaries, otherwise she may be taking it for granted.

Mozzy Coarx De Squokian: How come you already made love yet you are not in a relationship? It is like you do not know what you want.

Mutangana Nicholas: Tell her, but indirectly and see her reaction.

Don Phillip Od B: She looks at you as a “good samaritan”, I am certain she even spends the money you give her with her boyfriend. You are preparing for the worst but still praying for the best.

Rebecca Naluwooza: Frankness in any issue relieves stress and enables one to carry on. Anyway I doubt whether it is possible to engage in sex without opening up to someone.

Counsellor says > David Kavuma, Adonai Counselling Services

Dear JK, usually, when a girl introduces you to her best friend, they probably like you and want an honest opinion from their friend on what they think about you. However, I think your confusion stems from the fact that while starting this relationship with your friend, the two of you did not start out on a clear path. As such, you have to be worried because you did not set the terms and conditions of the relationship. However, it is not late for you to put things right and you will not set things right by keeping to yourself. It is healthy for you to share with your partner if you think she is serious, and then introduce the idea of the two of you defining your relationship and being girlfriend and boyfriend. The two of you seem to be shy to each other but you need to find the courage and speak to her. If you feel uncomfortable about it or feel unready to approach her about the matter, seek for a third opinion from a counsellor on how to break it to her. Opening up is the first key because you will remain doubtful and this will only make you feel worse that you already do.

Next week’s problem

Dear Heart to Heart, I need your help. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. He recently offered to make for me a dress, but he did not tell me it was his ex making it. I guess the reason he could not tell me was because he usually badmouths her. He also told me that he has not had any contact with her, but it slipped out during an argument. I am confused because we live in different places and only meet at the weekends. I work upcountry and now I am worried that he could be cheating on me. He has been acting suspicious lately, should I be worried?
-Sky