Thursday August 7 2014

I think my girl has put me under a spell

By Gloria Haguma

The problem
Dear Heart to Heart, I fell in love with my girlfriend almost a year ago now. I met her when we had gone for a friendly match at her campus. But ever since she accepted to love me, a lot has changed in my life and I feel she has taken control over my life. I think about her every minute and I feel her presence wherever I am and in whatever I am doing. Unfortunately, we are studying from different universities and we only meet once in a while for dinner. She refused to come to my home before she finishes her studies. She is now in her second year yet I am in my last year. I have tried to discuss my feelings with her but she has insisted on finishing her education first. However, my brothers and friends mock me that she has put me in the “bottle” because I go by her decision. My colleagues, am I in real love or am I am running crazy or she confined me in a “bottle” as my friends say?

Your solutions

My sympathies are with you. However, I advise you to let her finish her studies because this will help both of you in the future. Do not give up.
A bottle is small for you, you are in jar.

Do not rush. You sound like you want to fornicate and that is lust. I believe your girlfriend wants this to end up in marriage and that is why she is patient and playing it safe. So relax and take your time as well. Stop thinking of your stupid bottles and Prov.23:7.
I think you should wait because she is preparing for the future.
I just believe that that is a test. You should insist and when she still does not come through, tell her you are going to dump her. You will be surprised.
It has only been one year, just wait for her and stop taking hasty descisions.
Simon Peter

You need to play it cool.

What is the hurry? Why don’t you wait until she has finished her studies

Love is patient, so if you really love her then wait for her.

I don’t think anyone is bewitching you. It is just that you are madly in love now, but believe me, sooner or later you will be okay.

Please do not hurry and you should not be worried.

If at all it is true love, then wait for as long as neccessary.

I think she loves you but she still does not trust you completely. So be patient with her.

Wake up, she dumped you already.

My advice to you is simply give up.

She doesn’t love you and she will dump you as soon as she finishes her education.
Be patient for her to finish her studies. After all, she has told you already that she loves you. There is no need of stress her.

Let the girl finish school and she will be yours
Paul Jacob

Do not rush into things and never allow negative forces from outside to destroy your relationship.

Give yourself a break and wait until you are through with studies. Such an addiction may drive you insane if you allow it take up your time.

You do not know what is in her heart. I sincerely believe that she loves you but who knows she could be using you. Give her time but prepared for any outcome whether good or bad.

Patience should be your strength and do trust her and do not betray her trust.

Ask her to teach you how to be patient. Ronnie

counsellor’s take >
Cathy Natumbwe, Jesus is Alive Counselling Centre

Dear reader, it is unfortunate that you think you have been put under a spell. You do not tell us whether before it all started, you had a candid conversation on how the relationship would run.
I am sure if you had set goals and the girl you had set goals on how you wanted the relationship to run and what parameters you would follow, you would not find yourself in the uncomfortable position you now find yourself.
Although it should have been dealt with at the start, I strongly recommend that both of you find time and sit and discuss at length how the relationship will proceed, your expectations of the relationship and what seems to be the set-backs.
Please try and be as honest as much as you can, otherwise this will have been in vain.
Exercise patience, and with time, you will get an answer from her. If she does not love you after all this, at least you will have known that you did the best you could to salvage your relationship.
It is good to seek counsel but you should not take whatever your friends tell you as the gospel truth. I do not know if you are religious, but I believe you bring in a supreme being, in times like this, I urge you to strongly pray. You will be surprised at how much you learn when you talk to God about everything.

Compiled by Gloria Haguma