I took my time, and God rewarded me with a beautiful wife

Her story

There have been photos making rounds on Facebook of your Introduction ceremony. When was the function held?
The ceremony was on December 19, 2015 in my home district, Mbale. I was introducing Patrick Obalim Okot.

And how did it go?
I was a little nervous because I was down with a fever. Despite that, everything went well.

So, this lucky man Patrick, how did you meet him?
I first met Patrick on April 8, 2014. It was in the evening at Clean Image Dry Cleaners located at Forest Mall in Lugogo. I was talking to two attendants there, when I saw him seated in his car scrolling through his phone. Eventually, he came out of the car and my goodness, he was so tall! It was so funny that I laughed. One of the attendants joked, “Aisha, you thought that you were really tall but well, that man is taller than you.”

Moments later, he walked into the shop with his suits to have them dry cleaned. Then, he got chatty with everyone. I remember him ask for my name and I lied that I was called Ann. Later, he asked for my phone number which I gave him because I was strategising on eventually making him a potential client since I was marketing perfumes from Oriflame Company.

What happened thereafter?
Just 20 minutes after leaving, he sent me a message saying, “I would like to meet you for coffee.”
I was shocked! I found it weird that he was asking me out on that same day we met.
I refused and responded saying, “Do not think that I am one of those Kampala girls that you are going to get into my pants so easily.”

A few minutes later, he called apologising and saying he is not that kind of man but rather one who was genuinely asking me out on a date. I turned down the offer. A week later, he called again but I still refused to pick up his calls.
He never gave up as he called a month later. I picked up the call this time round and listened to him.

What did he say?
He insisted on us going on the date. I accepted. We went to Simba Cafe at Forest Mall. We each talked about ourselves. I even used the opportunity to tell him that my name was Aisha and not Ann.
Meanwhile, that same day, a story about Good Hope Nursery and Day Care Centre, where I am the director, had featured in one of the local newspapers and Patrick stated that he was mesmerised by it. It was after that date that I started seeing him as a totally different person. He was so cool and not as arrogant as I had imagined.

When did the relationship eventually start?
It was in September 2014. He proposed on April 8, 2015 at Wild Waters Lodge located in Jinja.

Are there any sacrifices you have made for the sake of the relationship?
Yes, I have made a few. At the time our relationship was getting serious, I turned down a great job offer to work as an air hostess at Qatar Airlines. I let the offer go in order to give the relationship a chance, despite the fact that working as an air hostess had always been my childhood dream. The other biggest sacrifice I made was to drop modelling which was something that I really loved. I did that out of respect for Patrick. No man really wants to see his wife walking down a runway while other men are drooling over her.

By the way, what does he think about your past modelling career?
He does not mind it. The only thing that probably perturbed him a little bit was my lingerie modelling gigs. I remember him once saying my body was so precious to be viewed by just any man.

What would you say has been the best moment in your relationship so far?
There have been many. I cannot really point out one. But overall, I would state that having him as my best friend has been the best moment in the relationship so far. He never judges but rather loves and respects me. People say men change but I do not believe mine will.

Have you encountered any nasty incidents in the relationship yet?
Not yet. Things are good so far.

What are the irritating behavioural patterns you want to see Patrick working on this year?
That would be his drinking. I am helping him tone it down.

Is that all?
Probably his spendthrift tendencies as well. I wish he could tone it down a little bit.

What is he like at home?
Always jolly and fond of tickling me.

Whom do you often seek relationship advice from?
My grandmother and one of my aunties talk to me from time to time. I would advise married women to minimise the times they rush to their single girlfriends for advice. They can easily mess you up. If you want advice, go to other married couples, parents or elders.

The three things you have learnt about relationships that you would like to share with other couples?
In order for relationships to work, one needs to really be patient. For instance, if you hear any rumours about your partner, do not be quick to judge. Talk to your partner first about it instead of drawing conclusions. Secondly, make God the centre of your relationship. Pray to him often to sustain the union. Lastly, my advice to the ladies is not to nag their husbands. Rather, respect him as the head of the house.

His story

What fascinated you about Aisha when you first met her?
I was blown away by her beauty but even became more fascinated when I learnt that she was a teacher by profession. Aisha has a Bachelor’s degree in Education from Makerere University after graduating in 2013. I have a lot of respect for teachers and one can never go wrong choosing one as a partner. They are not only knowledgeable but also disciplined. You will never find a teacher indulging in reckless behaviour. They are upright people.

How would you describe Aisha?
She is down to earth. She respects everyone regardless of their status. Aisha also loves people and hosting them home to eat her food. She has a compassionate heart.

The one irritating trait you think she needs to work on is…
Her over worrying tendency. There are times I am not home and she will continuously call to check up on me. She will only be at peace when I tell her I am okay.

How do you feel when others find your partner attractive?
When any man is told that his wife is beautiful, they will obviously feel proud that they made the right choice. It is the same way I feel when remarkable comments are made about Aisha. I always take them as compliments. Other than that, I love and trust her.

How old are you, by the way?
I am 40 years old. My wife is 26 years old.

Were you married before?
No, I was not. Aisha is my first wife. Otherwise, my last relationship before dating Aisha was in 2006.

Before meeting Aisha, weren’t you subjected to a lot of pressure to get married?
Definitely the pressure was there. My family members and friends often asked when I was settling down. But I boldly told them to let me be and that I would settle down at my own time. I did not want to rush into anything and regret later.

Do you think it is really necessary to know everything from your partner’s previous relationships?
It is not always important. Some things are just better left unsaid.

How do you sort disagreements?
We normally resolve our issues by talking. At the end of it all, I tell her, “baby, I love you.”

Do you have a nickname for her?
I call her honey.

And what does she call you?
“Daddy.”

Any tips to the bachelors out there on finding a partner…
Take your time. Do not rush into getting married only to regret later. I took my time and see now the beautiful wife God has given me. On the other hand, when you get a woman, study her carefully. If you cannot tolerate her, let the relationship go. You will only be hurting yourself by forcing things to work out.

Couple’s daily routine

The couple is always up by 5.30am. Aisha then goes straight to the kitchen and prepares breakfast for Okot. This is as he is getting ready for work. Once Okot is done, he has breakfast and then heads off to work. He has lunch at his respective workplace just like Nagudi. In the evenings, Aisha is always home before him to prepare dinner.

On weekends
The couple loves washing clothes together as Nagudi mentions, “I normally wash and then he rinses and puts them on the wire. Sometimes, we mop and clean the compound together. Yes, they are small things but they really bond us together.”