Sunday August 3 2014

I want to meet my girlfriend’s parents

By Uncle Joe Musaalo

Help! I do not know my girlfriend’s parents. Jerry O.
Dear Jerry O, you seem to be waking up to a realisation that you need to know your girlfriend’s parents. Has she threatened to quit the relationship because of your unfulfilled promises about visiting her parents? It is good to know each other’s parents not only for marriage but also security purposes; to ensure that you are in a relationship with a person who you will not regret having known.

In relationships, people look out for a person’s character traits. For example, nobody wants to get married to a thief, a wizard or one with emotional instability. It is also good because you need to know whether this person is not fooling around with you. For example, she could have already introduced someone to her parents and so she does not want to take to them another person or she took someone to her parents who seemed committed but later let her down.

Is the kind of commitment that you have for your girl friend that is raising doubts into her mind? Is it possible that your girlfriend doesn’t trust you enough maybe you conducted yourself in a way that leaves doubt, thus making her reluctant to commit to introducing you to her people.

Are there any other issues such as substance abuse, poor hygiene that may be your girl friend brought to knowledge but you instead turned a deaf ear to them . Is either of you underage (17 years and below) or your and maybe her parents may not accept you because of this factor. If so, it is prudent that you wait until you are of age.

Jerry, parents always wish to see their children get into relationships with known families and would go out to find out who this person is and the background of this family. Some people also look out for certain chronic illnesses or habits or values to see if they run in that family.

If a woman is not letting you know meet her parents after being together for sometime which is unusual, it may mean there could also be issues with her family. It could be that you do not meet her core expected qualities. It takes courage because parents may make some comments and she does not want to end up having to suffer in future. Also, better work on your communication as this may help your girlfriend to open up.
Uncle Joe Musaalo is a counselling psychologist