If you are single, 'eat' life with a big spoon

As a single person, you should party and go home late because nobody will be there to ask questions. Photo by Edgar R Batte

What you need to know:

  • You don’t have children to pay school fees for, no diapers to buy, you think formula is only to solve mathematical equations and has nothing to do with baby nutrition, that’s the life of a single person.

World over, people seem to think that single people are miserable. Even single people tend to think they would be better off of if they had a pesky love interest calling them endlessly to find out where they are.
Well, I’m here to tell you that you are wrong. Single life can be quite exhilarating. Don’t mind the fact that I’m married. That is totally inconsequential.
I had a blast when I was single. I still do although with some regulation. Here are some fun things that can make your single life interesting.

Change your wardrobe
What kind of advice is this you may think? But this is deep. When you are married and have family and a wife (in case you are a man) to be responsible for, you do not have the liberty to come home one night with new clothes totaling upwards of Shs300,000.
Your wife will be the first one to rain on your parade. “The twins don’t have formula milk and you are here buying new clothes,” she will retort as you eat guilty pie. This is one of the movies you star in but will also die in. Any sane married person knows they cannot try this. It is suicide.
But when you are single, you can spend your entire paycheck on clothes and no one will care.
You could walk to work, or eat at your parents’ home while wearing a new outfit and the world will continue running smoothly. No one gives a hoot. The fashion world is yours for the taking.

Play loud music in your car
Have you ever seen a man driving with his wife while loud music is blaring in their car? If you saw a couple, then they probably weren’t married.
Those were simply a badly behaved young couple ‘eating’ life. When you get married, you have to act like an adult despite the fact that deep down you may be just a boy.
Your wife will ensure that you act with propriety at all times lest your in-laws or family friends see you and wonder what calibre of man their girl married.
You will be retaught culinary manners, reminded to use words such as thanks, please and you will, drive responsibly at 30kms per hour and spend responsibility.
So as the single man that has no one to keep you in check, blare your car’s stereo and remember to nod along rhythmically like you just don’t care.
Don’t forget to wear your cheapo sunglasses and keep the windows down for all to recognise. This is the single life.
Go back home late
Every married man knows there is nothing that will cause a storm at home like showing up at an ungodly hour politely inquiring about dinner. You will be lucky if your wife lets you into the house. You might spend at the night at the balcony in the cold making random conversations with the askari. She will be getting even more annoyed as she hears you lively chatting up the askari like there is nothing wrong. So since you are still single, why not show up home late for the simple reason that you can. If you are beaten by thugs at your gate don’t come looking for me saying I talked you into it. Let lose and enjoy life.

Live like a king
I bet you don’t know how much a pack of diapers costs. Oh, what innocence! A married man’s life is primarily made up of providing solutions to family financial needs. That’s pretty much its summation. Since you don’t have to provide these kinds of solutions, you should live like a king. I mean you could have toasty pizza delivered to your house for breakfast courtesy of Hello Food, dial them up again for delicately grilled chicken breasts with potato wedges for lunch and order again at supper for T-bone roasted steaks with steamed rice and mushroom soup. You are the single king and you should live like one. You don’t have tuition to pay for children that have an uncanny resemblance to you, no diapers to buy, you think formula is only to mathematics and has nothing to do with baby nutrition. You my friend should enjoy life.