In a woman’s mind: I want your money, not you

He said, “All I have to do is send you Shs500,000 to buy a dress and tell you which hotel room to report to and you will show up without hesitation. Me, I have money and I know all you girls want is money.” Then he whipped out a ka ramshackled note and shoved it at me saying, “Ah here, go get some airtime so we can chat later.” Of course I took the money, I mean who turns down random Shs5,000 from a silly man who is so confident that he doesn’t bother to ask for your number but gives you his business card and says to beep him when you buy the airtime as if you had said you didn’t have airtime.


The first time we were introduced to Ahem! So why in the world do men think money will buy anything or anyone? Newsflash! Money can’t buy you love, it will probably get you a crooked smile and casual sex from a sly woman but love, nah. Dude even if you parked a sleek 2016 Cadillac ELR, got out smelling like heaven and talking like Zeus the Greek god of the sky, yes I‘d be smitten, I would even dream about you that night but no I wouldn’t go anywhere with you. If you gave me money and gifts of course I’d take them but there would be nothing given in return as I did not ask for them in the first place.


Yes, money does make the world go round and no one wouldn’t want to have a comfortable and wealthy life but don’t throw your money or illusions of wealth in my face because you think that is what impresses me. You have a conversation with someone and within the first two minutes of the conversation they have told you how much they earn (which is usually an exaggerated lie), how expensive it is to service their car and that they have one being shipped in as you speak, that they have an upcoming trip to ‘outside countries’ where they will spend the Christmas holiday and that their shoes were custom made for their feet only. And all this just so they can ask you out to go to a rugby pitch somewhere for half cooked sausages and waragi.


I am not saying I fancy brokeness because I don’t. Everyone man or woman has got to have some money to their name. What I am saying is that your money doesn’t impress us much. (And at this point I speak for myself because I know there are women whose love is wired to sniff money. As soon as they spot your money, they will love you to bits.)


So the next time you start throwing your money and gifts in our faces and we gladly take them and then walk away without giving you anything in return, don’t start ranting about how women are thieves or money-minded. Simply fold your now empty wallet or account and accept that you were duped. First by yourself because you thought money would buy you true love and affection and secondly by a street-smart woman who knows a rich fool when she sees one.


I was not going to write about this as it tantamounts to committing social suicide because I will probably not be getting anymore favours, gifts, money or wealth conversations from those who sought to ‘buy’ me but then I thought to self, ‘ What would the all-wise Magufuli do?