Heart to Heart

Jan’s Musings: Of course you can live without him

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By Jan Napio

Posted  Thursday, February 11   2016 at  02:00

When did the walls of your mind get so narrow and your brain shrink to such a miniscule bloodless tissue? When did your eyes become so myopic or your thoughts get so shallow? When did you lose reason, when did you stoop so low on all fours to feed in the same trough with dogs that go back to their vomit regardless of the stench or the wriggly raw pink worms that blindly swim in it spewing filth as they push themselves forward?


When did your intellect resign its functions? Why weren’t you consulted when this decision was made? Who made the decision, are you not the boss of you? Shouldn’t you be the one signing off such important things?
Instead, you are left with a heart running around devoid of any reason but taking instruction from a mere chemical reaction that has taken the place of your once sound mind.


You call it love but really it is a dark cloud of evil madness steadily progressing, ridding you of all sense. The skeleton of your brain is now plagued by fleas and bedbugs furrowing and eating away at crumbs of what once was. Can you not smell it? Your folly I mean. Its stench is so intoxicating I’d rather die from suffocation than inhale any of that.
Do us one last sound favour and book yourself a bed in the psycho ward. At least there, you will be safe from your lost delusional self, and so will that little girl that is unfortunate to call you mama.


That was the imaginary dialogue I had with the woman whose husband sometimes mistook his step daughter for his wife. I think he has an eye defect whereby seven-year-old girls suddenly look like fully grown women who are his wife. This bizarre defect only manifests when he is left alone with the child.


You see, that poor child was being raped by her stepfather and when she mustered enough courage to tell her dear mother, she was whipped like a cow and sworn to silence.


Later when the silence was torn in front of a neighbour, the eye defected man arrested and his wife questioned, the woman said she had ordered her child to shut up and continue suffering abuse because she didn’t want to lose her man.


She said he was the love of her life and that nothing, not even her own child would come between them. She said it is hard to come by a man these days and that she would rather die than be alone after all did the marriage vows not say through thick and thin, till death do us part?


And you think our problems are caused by loud politicians whose word means nothing. No, we have bigger problems. People will do things and then turn around and say they did them for love.


How else would you explain staying in a marriage where you are treated like a bark cloth doormat all in the name of unconditional love? Or in a two-month-old relationship where the more money you ‘lend’ him, the more he loves you but the day you are broke, even his love wells dry up like last month’s El Nino rain? Or offering to pay your own bride price, not because he is broke but because well, it is an expense he is not yet willing to meet but you on the other hand are ready. Why do sane people behave as if romantic relationships are lifelines without which life would end? Who grew this folly?

jnapio@ug.nationmedia.com


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