Meet Shamora, the baby-sitting daddy

A father with a three-month-old baby in office? Who is he kidding? How does he do it? Why does he do it? Collins Shamora is treading a path many men would rather not take.
In fact he has been praised and blamed for what many of his male peers and his online following say is a portrayal of weakness.

His critics say it is a publicist stunt he is fronting to seek attention.
Indeed until you visit Shamora at his home in Kiwenda, Gayaza Wakiso District. It sounds just that. A publicist stunt.
We drive 28 kilometres to Kiwenda a few kilometres out of Gayaza Town. Shamora’s tall but calm stature betrays the impression that has been created around him.

He is a little built and one who spends the better part of his day buried in computers and until two months ago, changing diapers in office.

Shamora boils water in a percolator, gathers bathing equipment for his little baby. It still looks odd as he does all this.
He does it seamlessly like he has been trained for a long time to do this. But it only took him two days learn everything.
One would think he is a single father until the wife comes out of the room to pick up baby Christabel for breastfeeding. She has all this time been preparing breakfast before the two set off to work.
“I bathe the baby as she prepares breakfast,’’ Shamora says as he twists and turns the baby in the basin.

Learning to baby-sit
“I knew I had to learn it. I had heard a lot of stories about maids and I told my wife there was no way I was going to hire one,” he explains.
And so the search for a solution started.

Esther, Shamora’s wife, was shocked when one evening he told her of his plan to start babysitting their girl.
Esther confesses to have laughed hard before she discouraged him. It was going to be the first time she was living such a young toddler in the hands of someone else.
Her biggest fear, more than anything, was the baby would be at risk of catching infections. But being the clean man he is, Esther says, she was comforted.

Esther is currently pursuing her Master’s degree and has an 8am to 5pm job. Shamora on the other hand is an IT specialist at Gifted Music Group, a music recording group in Naalya, Kampala. I am intrigued to ask whether she is not the domineering, emancipated 21st century putting her career before the family.
“It was not my idea, she says softly, “I did my best to discourage him. In fact I told him how people would laugh at him when the baby cries endlessly at his workplace. I knew he was going to give up on day one but it has been two months now and he is still going strong.”

Esther works at a Higher Institution of learning and so her corporate wear is not lost on her. Shamora drops his wife first, before he proceeds to his workplace.
He is dressed casually, as if to say, he understands the responsibilities of changing diapers, feeding and rocking the baby to sleep.

‘’It is about mutual respect and once you understand that in a relationship, the rest just falls into place. If men got involved, we would have healthier babies,” Esther says.
In his office, tantrums are bound to break and indeed on the day we decide to spend a day with him at office, Christabel cries for close to 30 minutes but he has mastered enough songs to put her to bed.
“This is a path I have chosen to take and whereas many may wonder why my wife could not stay at home until the baby was old enough, I also know she has dreams, she has aspirations and I must support her,” he says.
Both are aware of the importance of the mother’s presence and love at this stage but the argument is, “If she sat home for one year, I would have more responsibility catering for the two than when I decide to take the baby with me to work. This is much easier”.

The view
Changing roles

Shamora believes there are a lot more men who have failed in their role as fathers because, like he says, they want finished products but are not willing to get dirty.
“Many of us men have egos. A child is only our child when it starts walking. And yet we must get involved right from the start. Right now when Christabel falls sick, I will be the first to know. There is nothing much more rewarding than that,” he says.
This whole arrangement revives the old debate of the importance of maids or house helps in homes.
But like Esther reveals, her daughter would rather bond with the father than the maid.
Shamora’s attitude is a change in motion about the perception of parenthood.
And for whatever angle you look at it, he is reversing roles and challenging the long held tradition that a woman will have to adjust her lifestyle and career after child birth. In their home, it is business unusual.

What they say

Araali Chris Ahebwa, Lecturer
What that man is doing is simply the right thing. He is an example of a good and loving father.

Gorret Betty Mbabazi, Nurse
It is a good start to show other men that being a parent doesn’t end at being called daddy.

Zubedah Kunihira, Businesswoman
What he is doing will create a strong bond between him and the child. I am sure he will be very proud of him.

Sulaiman Yusuf Tumwine, Civil servant
Sometimes nannies are not reliable. So I believe if the son is not a distraction at work, it’s okay.

Compiled by Zuurah Karungi

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