Friday March 9 2018

My boyfriend does not want me at his house

problems and loneliness

I sometimes feel like being away from home for a while. But every time I request to spend time at his home, he creates excuses and we normally end up having a big argument.  

By Beatrice Nakibuuka

Dear Heart to Heart, I met my boyfriend six months ago and we seem to be in love. I visit him once in a while but it seems he does not like the idea of me spending a night at his place or going there when he is not around. I still stay with my parents and although I work, I sometimes feel like being away from home for a while. But every time I request to spend time at his home, he creates excuses and we normally end up having a big argument. Does he really love me or am I just a booty call?

Glory Cobs.Make an effort to understand why? Most times, it is not about another woman/women or even love. Find out his insecurities and why he insists on you not staying over.
That way you won’t lose a good man but also make him better. Certain insecurities do not allow men to behave normal at times but understanding them is one way of resolving such issues.

Nampa Patience Natie. Try to coerce him into telling you why he does not like you spending a night at his place or his reasons for not wanting you there when he is not around. Maybe it could be due to some insecurities he has or he feels it is still too early for you to be at his place. But above all do not give up yet.

Mpungu Paul. You called him a boyfriend; maybe he does not want to fornicate with you! Sister just wait for the right time when you are married. Remember to pray to God. Everything will go well with you.
Omia Samuel Ivan. He could be married and just wasting your time. Just keep praying and looking for the right man otherwise he will stress you the more and you will regret.

George William. Maybe he is not yet ready for commitment. You see some of us men fear responsibility. That is why in this generation you find a man who earns well, is in his early 40s but with no child and still renting a house.

Hope Van Vicker. My dear they say when you rush you crash; just six months and you want to be spending nights at his place? The man is also bright because the world has turned around where women use men or sleep with them and dump them afterwards.

Ssekimpi John. Get serious. That is called experience. What your man is going through can only be understood by men.
If you want to be with him, do not rush him. He is trying to change slowly. He may even feel ashamed for neighbours to see you coming out of his house in the morning. It is very normal for men.

Phoebe Miriam. Listen girl, you are a side dish! If you were his priority he would not have an issue with you visiting anytime!
It is six months and you do not even live together? Go back to the fishing ground and search! Do not waste time on things which cannot work when you can find love out there.

Simon Turyahebwa. It is not good at all to impose yourself onto someone who seems to say you are dispensable. You should look for a special person who should bring out that true hero in you.

Angois Lapio. Just six months and you want to stay with him; sister go slowly you may hit a pothole that may destroy you. That man may be married or has many girlfriends so he is afraid that by you reaching his place you may discover a lot of dirty secrets.

Roy Namayanja. Men are difficult to understand. Ask him why he always gives excuses whenever you want to go to his home and if he fails to give you a satisfying reason, just take off.

John Kalyesubula. Did he ever ask you to be his girlfriend because he is in love with you or you assumed that because you slept with him, he is your boyfriend? Stop being desperate for him. Respect yourself. He should be running after you, not the other way round.

Mugisha Junior Emmanuel. He is right, most especially if you are interested in sleeping with him. Just try to do something that will make him miss you.
How different are you from his houseboy or any other woman he can pick from the street?
Did you try to prepare for him a special meal, iron his clothes, prepare some water for him to shower and then he chased you away? Women should understand what men need. Sex does not keep a man.

Solaya Zalwango. You are a bootycall. A man who values you, should want you to come over, sleep over, stay over. Do not start finding reasons why this is so, you will go nuts and get depressed. Just cut that bloodsucker off.

counsellor’s say>
Evelyn Kharono Lufafa, Suubi Medical Centre
Love comes
in many ways

Dear Lynn, you must be disturbed about your boyfriend’s reaction. Your relationship is only six months old and if anything you are still learning and discovering each other.
Love is not only shown in one dimension. It can be true that your boyfriend is still making up his mind. It is risky for the two of you to spend a lot of time alone in an enclosed place. It may be annoying but it could save you from getting pregnant at the initial stage of the relationship. It is hard for you to restrain from having sex if you are attracted to each other and spending a night together.

Also, be slow and avoid putting pressure to visit your boyfriend’s house, after all he is still only a boyfriend and it is not automatic that he will be your future husband. You need to learn him from a non-compromising angle. Let him take the lead at this early stage as men usually do not like being pushed.

Save yourself all these worries; if someone loves you, he will show it in so many other ways besides letting you spend a night with them. Communicate politely about your fears he may have a genuine reason which he may not have shared. As you relate and communicate openly you will be able to tell if he just does not want to host you or he has genuine reasons for his actions.
Compiled by Beatrice