My ex-girlfriend wants me back

Dear Heart to Heart, My ex-girlfriend and I separated some time back because she had cheated on me and got pregnant for another man. However, she has started calling and asking me to forgive her and start all over again. She claims she still loves me yet I no longer have feelings for her. How should I get her off my back?
Derick

SOCIAL MEDIA FEEDBACK

Mercy Ritah. It is not easy to fall in love again with your ex-girlfriend but if she has repented and seen that she made a mistake and you still love her, renew your relationship. At least what she did helped you know she is fertile.

Opio Fred. You should know that a relationship is like a mirror, once it is broken, it will never recover its original shape. You can still welcome back your ex but that past incident will never be forgotten. You either head into the worst or hope for the best as long as you have the person you are comfortable with.

Ocaya Thomas Oroma Pen-Mogi. What have you been waiting for all this while? There is some sexual weakness in you that only her who can handle, else you could have moved on. But do not live in a limping relationship forever.

Byaru Onek. You should know that love has no end. You should forgive that girl. What if you were the one, wouldn’t you want the same? Love will never lie.

Okello Andrew. What have you been doing since you separated? If you were waiting for her, get her back but if you had married another woman then it is your choice to either stay with one or have them both.

Glosh Anenocan. A new sim card is just Shs3,000 and registration is free that is the best way to get her off you. Blacklisting her won’t be enough as long as she still knows your phone number. She will still use another line to reach you.

John Jove Kir Kabali. Men do not breakup. I have a feeling you still remember that one moment that you cannot forget about her. That one thing that makes you wish she had not cheated. Even if you run to the next world, she will haunt you. My religion and tradition teach love, forgiveness and reconciliation.

Niwagaba Agnes. You might be afraid to hurt her with a negative response but I propose you meet her, listen to her first but tell her how much you were hurt. If she is really sorry and you have not moved on yet, forgive her.

Counsellor’s say: Evelyn Kharono
Lufafa, counsellor at Ssuubi Medical Centre
Talk it out first

Dear Derick, your situation is understandable because cheating is a no go area both in a relationship and marriage. To make matters worse, there is a child. This is total confusion. Even if you had tried to take her back, how sure are you the father of the child will not father another with her? And what will happen when the child wants to see its father?
It is important to sort things out now before it is too late. It is better to end a relationship than a marriage. Having no emotional attachment because of the past experience is enough for you to stay out of the relationship lest you stay enemies in the house that was initially meant to be a happy union.


You, therefore, need to meet her physically and talk things out. Let her know that she hurt your feelings by cheating and that you do not have any more feelings for her.


Generally, it is better to sort things out when they are still at relationship level before you get children involved. After one partner has cheated, if you can forgive, be sure to totally forgive or end it because you do not have to pretend to love the person yet you are hurting.

Next week’s issue
I have been in a relationship with a married man for more than six years but he says he cannot meet my parents and get committed to me before I get pregnant. However, there is another man who has been hitting on me for eight years. I am beginning to fall for him too. Problem is he is a Christian and my family cannot entertain a non-Muslim man. I am confused and terrified. I do not know what to do next once if I cannot marry this Christian man. Please advise me on what to do.
Shazia