My friend’s girlfriend wants him to be jealous

One is right to say that relationships, and the whole love thing, makes people act irrationally. Of course, like all things, this is a matter of perspective and opinion, depending on who is observing and which role one plays in the relationship. Martin is undergoing a phase of bewilderment, because his girl has started ‘acting up’. When one asks what exactly she does that is puzzling him, he answers, “apparently I am not jealous enough, she wants me to show possessiveness.”

She wants him to show possessiveness, jealousy, just to show her that he loves her, and that he would not want her to be taken away from him.

I do not think I fully understand what drives her, but on some levels, I can relate to it. Personally, I do not seem to have the capacity to get possessive - noticeably possessive. Not because I do not care for what is mine, but because I believe in free will; if she wants to go, nothing I do will stop her. And I know that acting like a jerk will not help matters.

So, this new behavior started the day Martin and his girl run into her ex-boyfriend. And like a gentleman, he stepped away and let them catch up. When they were done, he went on as if nothing had happened, which was exactly her problem. “You just left me to talk with my ex, you do not even ask what we talked about. Don’t you care that he might take me back? That I might leave you?” Martin could have answered, “no, I do not care that he might take you back because you are not an inanimate object that can be taken without its consent.’ But instead he said, ‘I trust you. If you want to go, you will go, and there is nothing I can do to stop you.”

Ever since then, she keeps pestering him, asking him why he never shows jealousy, why he does not act possessive like the other men. At first, he ignored it, thinking she would realise it was not his style and let him be. But she insisted so much, and even started getting angry at him. Thinking that a little compromise is not bad, he started acting possessive, literally. He would feign being angry whenever she was talking or chatting on phone. If she greeted any man he did not know, he sulked.

He says it was ridiculous, and he would have broken out several times in laughter because the whole thing seemed so stupid. But, it worked for her. She even posted on her social media something that said, “When you know your man cares. He is ready to fight for you“. When he saw this, he shook his head in sadness, and said, “we have a serious problem.” I agree with him.