Friday August 11 2017

My friend’s girl was using him for her selfish needs

By Eugene Mugisha

My friend has a sad but interesting story; he says in the roughly eight months that he dated his girl, he hardly ever saw her happy. He had this impression that she was a very morose, unhappy person, because every time she saw him, something always seemed to be bothering her.

Not that he saw her that often - she was a very busy person - but the few times she managed to squeeze in an hour or two to see him, she seemed awfully sad. Like a lost little puppy.
And she laid all her burdens on him.

Of course it put him off a bit. Which kind of man wants a woman who is always a few seconds away from tears? But he is a nice man, and if she saw him as her shoulder to cry on man, then he was happy to provide that shoulder. At least she always left happy, or in a much better mood than she had arrived. Which is the real centre of this story.
Soon after, that is. According to him, he did not pay much attention to this pattern until a several months into the ‘relationship’ or whatever it was. And even then, he did not think much of it until he started running into the girl with other people and she was happy! Happier that he would have believed her capable of being!

He always had had this impression of her as a sad girl with so many worries in the world. And he worried for her endlessly, and wanted to shelter her from the bad cruel world.

He was happiest when he made her smile a little because he was certain she did not have so much happiness in her life. Besides, she hardly told him anything about herself, and her life. But he was a good, patient man.
The first time he found her not sad, she was in fact tipsy, and she was singing a song out loud. He did not recognise her at first, not without the sad eyes. But then he looked again and she was the one. He made his way to her, and she turned and looked at him strangely, like he had no right to be there in the midst of this part of her life.
They did not talk much, he left soon after. He called her the next day but she was very busy with work.
She was only able to see him four days later, which also coincided with the day she had found out that her contract would not be renewed, and she was worried to death, how would she cope?

She cried and cried, and he consoled her as best as he could, and made her a nice little home cooked meal and she left feeling better. She said she was going home to sleep.

Then the whole bubble burst open. Later, that very evening, he ran into her with some other people. And she did not look as sad, if any at all. And it dawned on him, in one of those rare moments of pure clarity; she was using him!
She was taking advantage of his affection for her, his kindness and his soft spot for her, for her selfish needs.
That is why she never saw him when she was happy; he was her ‘sorrow man’! It was a sad realisation, but undeniably true.

She probably had a boyfriend for the good times, the one who did not even know that she had suffered a very painful tooth problem last month, and it was him who had taken her to the dentist.
Taking a good long look at her, he waved ‘bye’, like how children do it, and that was it for him. Finito!