My girlfriend sneaks out on me

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Dear Heart to Heart, My girlfriend and I have been together for three years now. I love her so much, but whenever I go to work on the night shift, she sleeps out of home without my knowledge. When I ask where she had been, she quarrels. Is this a sign that I should quit now?

Agaba Kollinz. I would encourage you persist on talking to her, maybe you will get answers because persistence breaks resistance. You never know she may open up to you. It’s not advisable to jump to conclusions so fast.

Pirwoth Wilberforce. Talk it out with her brother. If she does not change, then end the relationship.

Phoebe Miriam. That woman is cheating on you. Her quarreling is to cover up for her wrongs. Despite your love for her, you may not be able to put up with her behaviour. Since she cannot open up to you and continues to stress you, please quit the relationship.

Ovon Jack. Man, it takes a real woman to honestly love a man who works on the night shift. Women fear sleeping alone in bed at night more than HIV. In fact kick her out already, she is dishonest with you.

Tugumisirize Alex. Dude, straight up! You are being disrespected and taken for granted. The ball is in your court!

Leta Sylivia. It is obvious there is something fishy going on. You are a couple. You have the right to know your woman’s whereabouts.

Jimmy Okwera. Consider changing your shift to day maybe she is afraid of sleeping alone in the house but fears even to tell you. Since it has not happened once why do you want to quit now?
Muna Ntake. Sort out yourself and find out why she is escaping. Loving her so much will not keep her if the other department of the relationship is not functioning.

Evangelist Ocen Emmanuel. Quit the relationship because she is not your wife. You are fornicating which is a sin. Get a faithful person and get married.

Mariam Kasozi Jacobs. Are you so blinded to realise she is unfaithful. Move on before she infects you with a killer disease.

Musoni Didas. She is a girlfriend not a wife. She could be seeing another boyfriend, and it is her right since you are not married.

Semwanga Jose. My brother quitting the relationship is not a solution. You have to sit her down and talk to her as couples do. You may find out you are not giving her enough time.

Fred Leekuson. You surprise me when call her your girlfriend. This is your future wife. What if love fades away? Won’t she kill you? There are responsible women longing for true love.

Tony Kanyike. Please first marry her before you establish control over her. Endeavor to know that you are just friends so everyone is free to do whatever they feel like doing.

Okonya Zacchaeus. You are very strong to keep with her to date basing on her habit of sleeping out whenever you are out on duty. I would not allow mine to do it twice.

Abu Bakarr Taylor Kamara. Absolutely she must leave this relationship. She is pretending to love you, but outrightly she does not. You should not waste your time on her.

Etyang Stephen. Throw her out of your house unless otherwise you want to die soon. Besides you are not safe with the men she might be spending time with.

Nakitende Prossy Night shift, Night shift, by the way, where is her shift? You come back exhausted, what do you think of her? Do you think she can tolerate that? Style
up!

Nagasha Acleo. You are weak. That is why you are still with her. Are you just waiting for HIV?

Counsellor says|: Stephen Langa, counsellor at Family Life Network

Consider her behaviour as a red flag

Dear Ivan, this is already a red flag that something bad may happen soon. Three years is long enough for you to be able to resolve such issues. If she claims to love you, actions speak louder! She must be taking responsibility to inform you whenever she is not sleeping home and why.
However, it may be that this woman has long stayed with you but has not heard anything like you getting committed and she is probably getting tired because she sees no future with you. Maybe this is the reason why she takes it for a quarrel but you are not getting it.
Staying out of home with no clear explanation is breach of trust which is a very important ingredient in a relationship. It may be hard for you to involve a third person to talk to her about the matter because you are not even responsible for her as your relationship is informal.
This puts you in a vulnerable position as you are literally just staying together and anyone is a candidate of simply walking out of the relationship. You must get committed and think about your future.

Next week’s issue
I was in a relationship with the father of my four children for seven years,before we separated. My problem is that he does not support the children especially now that they are in school. How do I make him attend to his duties because looking after children is not easy.
Pat

Write to us: Do you have any relationship problems and need advice? Please write to [email protected]
Answers to all questions are provided by readers and, where necessary, cross-checked with competent psychiatrists, psychologists, sociologists and other experts in related professions.

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