Thursday August 28 2014

Oh, the things girls make us do for their attention!

By Eugene Mugisha

The other day, I had hitched a ride in my friend’s car when we spotted this girl walking by the road. I noticed her just as we drove past her, and boy was she wow! My friend is married, and is way older than me, so this girl was out of his range, but not for me. A few metres ahead, I asked him to stop and we switch seats. I wanted to drive. He certainly figured what I was up to.

With steering in hand now, I reversed till we reached the girl, and in a very classy way, asked her if she wanted a lift. She looked at me, then at my friend, and said: “Sure, why not? I hadn’t really expected her to refuse. I haven’t met many women who turn down a lift in a Range Rover.

I mean, it is a Range Rover, duh! She got in the back, and in a few short words, I explained how I was dropping off my friend and if she didn’t mind, I could drop her wherever she was going later. I could see her in the driving mirror curiously studying us. She asked where I was dropping off this friend, and I told her not to worry because it was just around the corner — at the mall to meet his wife.

I could see my friend grinning on the other side, on realising that I was neutralising him. He wasn’t headed to the mall, but when I parked at the mall, he marched out and said he would see me at about 6pm, meaning he wanted his car back by 6pm.

I asked the girl to move to the co-driver’s seat and I drove her to Ntinda. Hardly had I moved 200metres when the fuel indicator flashed, and then I realised why Moses had that grin when I ditched him at the mall; I did a quick mental calculation.

I had only Shs5,000 on me. This car wouldn’t take me far. But I was already in this, so I turned to a fuel station, surrendered the Shs5,000, and we set off. In Ntinda, she gestured towards Naalya. This car would never make it back from Naalya, so I asked her where exactly we were going, and she said Namugongo. I parked the car and told her I was not going that far because the car had some issues, it was not yet ready to be driven for long distances.

She looked at me with that look one gives a liar, a bad liar, and said, “okay”, and started getting out. But I was not done with her yet. I didn’t have her contacts, all I knew was that she was going to Namugongo. Just as she opened the door, I asked her for her name and if she had a phone number. Without responding, she got out, closed the door and gave me that, “dude,that was weak” smile.

Yes, that was not my A-game, I can’t always be on my best foot. I let her go, reversed, and 10 metres away, the fuel light blinked again. I called Moses and told him where to find his car, and I got a taxi back home. The idiot had known all along that I had no money on me, yet he let me go with his fuel guzzler on an empty tank. The things we do to get a girl’s attention!