Seriously, what’s all this hype about sex?

We live in a very sexual society; in fact it is highly sexualised. Sex in various forms, even mentions, innuendos or suggestions of sex are so much around us that they are hard to miss. On radio and TV, in the newspapers and in conversations, at street corners and even in the church and other places of worship, no place is safe from insinuations of sex.
On the latter, if you doubt me, ask yourself this: Why a woman would come to church with a low-cut blouse exposing her cleavage, a body-hugging outfit with a slit, or low-rider trousers exposing her behind? Why would a man come to church in a muscle shirt or tight crotch-hugging pants? Why would the reverend mention to a newly-wed couple about making babies?
It does not stop there, in the speeches at the reception, the parents will make the same reference to babies. It is still an implicit reference to sex; we know how babies are made, do they have to tell us? We even know more than that, apart from reproduction, sex is also for pleasure.
Keep in mind that the couple will definitely have got an earful about sex during pre-marital counselling, those last-minute tips from aunts and uncles, and from biology lessons or sex education while they were in school.
That is not forgetting the very high probability that they were already having sex before the wedding. Even the suggestive comments or looks from others after the wedding night or the honeymoon. Few will admit but wedding night is bad-sex night or no-sex night, better the latter than the former.
In fact when I reflect on this too-much-sex-around-us thing, I am reminded of this quote from the book The Africa That Never Was: “...the concentration of their thoughts on sexual intercourse...is the negro’s greatest weakness...After all, to these people almost without arts and sciences and the refined pleasures of the senses, the only acute enjoyment offered them by nature is sexual intercourse.”
We have been told that sex is important in a marriage or a relationship, we have been led to believe that men need sex like a fish needs water, and things of that nature. But the reality is different, marrieds want to give us the impression that all is good even when it is not.
The truth is that one is likely to have less sex married than when not married. There are too many other “moving parts” in the wheels of marriage that sex may be the last thing on the man’s or woman’s mind.
Some, especially women, may be shocked that there are times when sex is not on the man’s radar. Yes, at times all he may want is a quiet evening, a glass of wine or a joint in hand, watching sports or his favourite show on TV. That moment could be more thrilling than an ejaculation; it will give him soul satisfaction than leave him physically drained.
As what I quoted from the book I read implied, there are pleasures of other senses to be enjoyed than sexual intercourse. A conversation with my wife could indeed, be more stimulating to the mind than getting an erection.
A night out to paint the town red could give us a body high, more than an orgasm would. You see, sex is overrated. It is good to have but there are other things that are better. Look beyond what you see, and you will discover new horizons to reach.
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