She couldn’t stop talking about her ex-lovers, I fled

I liked her, I really did, but man the way she just could not keep quiet is what drove me away. See, four days - just four days - after meeting her, I already knew her life story. The other half I got to know within the next week. By the end of the second week, there was not much she had not told me. And it was quite an adventurous life story, it is like she was a heartache magnet; the way she attracted men who were only interested in breaking her heart was....

Somehow, it was always their fault. But hearing her talk, I started to believe that these men, at least the majority of them, may not have intended to break her heart per se, they only wanted to leave. I also already wanted to leave. Seriously, what kind of girl lays everything bare within two days? There she was, telling about her ex-boyfriends, who had done what and who had not, what she had liked and hated about each one. For some reason, I could not help feeling already judged, even before we started the relationship.

And talking of the relationship, we were not in a relationship, at least not yet. I had only expressed my interest in her, and asked her out on a date. The first time went well, we were very general and had a good uncomplicated evening together. After that, I followed through with phone calls, texts, the usual thing. And she warmed up to me. The second date was when she let everything out. Everything was going quite well, we had just ordered for our coffee’s when she put down her phone, looked at me and said, “you know, I sincerely hope you are not here to waste my time, like all these other men”.

I started distancing myself from ‘those other men’ and whatever it was they did since she clearly did not want any of it. But she was not finished. “They all come out nice, but then they turn into real assholes very soon. Even the quiet ones such as Jeremy...”, and the flood gates opened. She talked on and on for a really long time, by the time she was done, I was in awe. I got the general impression that most men seemed to be fleeing from her. At that moment, I felt like fleeing myself, but I stuck it out. We left soon after.

During the course of the week, she told me more about her colourful history. For a girl at 24, she had dated quite a number of men, from quite a number of backgrounds. The next time we met, I made up my mind never to see this girl again.

She had now progressed to telling me about her sexual experiences. She told me what she likes - which was thrilling at first - but then I realised she was telling me what she had actually done, with each of the men, who she had liked and who she had not liked. I suppose that was her way of giving me a clue about what she expected, but man, that was way too much for my simple self.

I faked an emergency, and literally fled. No more calls, no more texts. I would not answer her calls, and texts. After a few days of trying to get in touch with me, she sent me a message asking me if there was something she had done wrong. I wondered how to start explaining the simple dynamics of a relationship; that all relationships need a bit of mystery, privacy, for them to actually work.

“She told me what she likes - which was thrilling at first - but then I realised she was telling me what she had actually done, with each of the men, who she had liked and who she had not liked. I suppose that was her way of giving me a clue about what she expected, but man, that was way too much for my simple self. I faked an emergency, and literally fled.”