Thursday May 22 2014

She has two other men on the side

The problem
Dear Heart to Heart, I am in love with a girl who was dating two other men with my knowledge. However, when I tried to ask her how she handles all these affairs, she told me not to worry. She suggested that I also find another lover, but it is not like me. It seems to me that the love she has for me is just for fun. What can I do?
- Destiny

Your solutions
You sit there asking what you can do, well knowing she is a player? In the first place you don’t love her but you are dating her for fun and waiting to have sex and get HIV. If she tells you to find another girl, that means you are worse than the two she is dating. Think like a man, not a dummy.

My dear, first know why you are with her. If it’s for fun, then go ahead and have it, but if it’s for something different, think twice.

Is she the only girl around? The Banyankore/Bakiga have a proverb which says: abakazi n’endeere, tizihwa mu rutookye (women are like banana leaves, there is always fresh leaves in a plantation) meaning that like banana leaves in a plantation, women are inexhaustible. No need to despair, there is always other women to love.

Would you mind testing for HIV? Do it just to find out your status, then quit the relationship immediately.

Dear Destiny, it is clear, can’t you see it? This lady is not suitable for you. Secondly, she is not serious with the relationship. It seems you are also in a dilemma, seeing that you have failed to make up your mind. How can you sit back and watch your girlfriend date other men? My brother, better wake up because this relationship is going nowhere. The lady does not love you anymore, that is why she has given you a go ahead to find another person. Destiny, God created one man for one woman. This woman is trying to compare you with other me. You are not a child, get out of this confusion. You are a man of DESTINY, re-focus and find a woman with a common dream.
N. Ojambo

Man, there are many girls in Uganda looking for men to love them.

I think you are not a young boy who needs to just be told what to do. Leave her and get yourself another beautiful angel.

Eh! eh! That’s a criminal offence, report to CPS!

Can you quit that relationship immediately! I think you just want to invite HIV for yourself. Think thrice!

If you cannot see what a baby can see, then go on with the relationship, otherwise you have been deceived.

If you are not psychologically ready for an open relationship, call it quits.

What do you want us to tell you? She has already told you what to do. Even if we tell you to continue with her, she will not love you any better.

It is high time you accepted the truth, that she is not into you. Don’t wait for the worst moment to come and you think of quitting. You should have walked away earlier. So dear, think twice before you think of leaving her, may be she will change. These things happen.

God treasures us and takes every one very importantly. Who is she then to waste your time? Forget about her.

Why are you still in this relationship? How do you accept to be the third option? Just picture this; Day One, she’s with her number one, Day Two, she’s resting. Day Three she’s with her number two, Day Four, she’s missing her number one... Quit before tomorrow!

If you are serious, then take your seriousness to someone else because she even told you to look for a serious lover. She’s with you for fun, so enjoy her with the others who are also having fun.

If both of you have no absolute trust, let Jesus be your Headword like I do trust in HIM for success.

It’s very unfortunate that you met such a person in your life. Just be a man and act without consulting. Are men even supposed to have cos? Man, think straight.

Loving two people at the same time is far more dangerous than the HIV virus. If you truly love her, then leave her for your own safety.

Boy you are enjoying the game. She has told you there are two opponents in your game, how about substitutes, do you know how many there are? Hahaha.

Both of you are grown up persons and what I wanted to tell you is that, some girls wanted to test your mind on how much you have invested in her. In terms of love, therefore you need to watch out seriously. Trying elsewhere will not be the solution, according me. Be firm and determined!
Bro, the truth is bitter but thank God she did not deny dating other men. On this planet, you can share anything but not a girlfriend or wife. Can you imagine instead of her apologising or denying as some girls do, she just tells you don’t worry. Actually you are nobody to her so it is better to leave her now because I know there could be other girls out there who are more beautiful than her, crying out for you and she is a stumbling block.

If you truly love her, make her yours. You know a girl’s mind can easily change when she finds trust.

Get a more pretty girl and invite her over. Once she sees her, she will respect you and become more jealous than you.