She is making our brother broke

Dear Heart To Heart, Earlier this year our brother started dating a woman who seemed rich with several businesses. But now all his projects have stalled. His house was near completion but for months he has not added anything and he has withdrawn all the assistance to us. However, his woman’s businesses are expanding. It looks like she is sucking money from our brother like rumours claim she did in her previous relationship. We have talked to our brother but he seems blinded by love. What should we do?
C. Umari

YOUR FEEDBACK

Hasan Uganda. Your issue made sense until I got to the part where you say “he has withdrawn all the assistance to us”. You must be that man who is looking at your brother for everything! At least that woman is entitled to whatever he is giving her because she makes him happy. You are not a woman please go and work?

Grace Twinomujuni Koburunga. Don’t interfere in your brother’s relationship. Love is blind yes, soon he will regain his sight and see what is good for him. It is a matter of time for that blindness to go away.

Peter Paul Balikuddembe. Try to prove your brother wrong by fighting to depend on your own without him because some people think that we depend on them for survival.

Sarah Musumba. Everything happens for a reason. Get up, compose yourself, and look for something to do if you are not working.

Trish Latig Cara. Go work for your own money and complain about it but not your brothers. People are sick and tired of clan members and relatives who look to one person with money for everything.

Otile Fred. It is unfortunate that is happening to him and the family, but the decisions lie with your brother. Maybe they are now sharing the business you see expanding. Involve the elders as well.

Moses Tokwiny. Some of these women are enemies of progress. Unfortunately when you are in love you don’t see it. One day he will wake up when his pockets are bleeding, his house is incomplete and roofless and his contract expired. The so-called lover will also dump him like a hot potato, that’s when reality will kiss him.

Nana Damalie. It is your brother’s money not yours. How he chooses to spend it is purely not your concern as you assume. The same woman you complain about also has brothers that have women who also depend on them. It is a cycle.

Edith Nagawa. It is your brother’s money not yours. Work hard and earn your own. He found that woman with multiple businesses, she is developing herself, he is not. Is it her fault? Work hard and make your own money and spend it how you please.

Counsellor says: Ali Male, counsellor at YWCA let your brother be

Dear Umar, you seem to be surprised by your brother’s moves and transitions. Whenever there are transitions, there are impacts. You could be victims of the transition from your brother being involved in a relationship that requires him to have boundaries between you and his new catch.
You need to go through an acceptance stage, find new ways of getting assistance from him not necessarily on a routine basis but on mutual cooperation.
When there is new love, true there is blindness of a partner and the more you attempt to penetrate the relationship, the more you will get reactions from your brother in particular. You may even cause a temporary break between you and him.
Maybe after sometime, he will realise he made a wrong decision but for now let it be.
Generally, when someone finds a new relationship, they may be blinded not to see the mistakes they are doing but as parents or relatives you need to give them chance to establish new boundaries.
Compiled by Beatrice Nakibuuka

Next week’s issue
My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost three years now. However, I feel her tomboy character is getting on my nerves. She does and is interested in only manly stuff – games, clothing, among others. I’ve tried all possible ways to lure her into becoming a normal female in vain. I even bought her feminine clothes only to realise she gave them out to her friends. I fear introducing her to my relatives and friends because of her male dress-code and boyish characters. What should I do to transform/help her because I really do not want to lose her.
Paul

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